The Case of The Disappearing Socks!

My fellow blogger mom Sandra over at Absolutely Narcissism , is so funny and completely blunt in her blog. I have to pimp her out today for the blog she posted about the word "vagina".

I have to say I do the same stuff with my boys. I scare them into not wanted to have sex without a condom and making sure not to get anyone pregnant...lets face it I have no other options..I can't put my boys on birth control!

This brings me to the time I took my oldest to his 11 year check up. He had just turned 11, and I was thinking this would be like any other day at the pediatricians office...I was so very WRONG!

His Doctor turned to me and said have you had the talk with him about masturbation. What The Fuck? He is 11! Then she proceeded to tell me with my terrified looked on my face that boys start masturbating about the age of 11. OMG isn't this his dad's job to talk to his son about masturbation? No she said boys and their dad's are to embarrassed to talk to each other about masturbation.

Oh shit, I know nothing about boys masturbating except for the fact the I had to buy my second ex husband 3 pocket pussies cause he kept wearing holes in them. This would be different she said cause I shouldn't under any circumstance buy him a pocket pussy! lol Why not? They are easily discreet and washable and make life a lot easier for me!

I ignored the pediatrician, I figured it would come along soon enough and I would deal with it then. Oh but I was so wrong! I should have dealt with it when she told me to.

I started finding crusty socks stuffed behind his bed and under his bed and in his closet. OMG GROSS! Then the unthinkable happened! Yes I walked in on him masturbating! He had not locked or even bothered to shut the his bed room door so I didn't think nothing of walking right in to deliver his clean clothes from the dryer for him to put away! OMG! I never again went into his room .
I did however sit my then 12 year old and my then 6 year old sons down ...Yes the youngest was six when this conversation took place....brace yourselves!

This is how it went!
Look I know boys have needs and they sometimes want to explore their bodies and that their penis does funny things when they touch it, however I am telling both of you that doing that in your bedroom isn't allowed! They make showers for that so that all the evidence goes down the drain , and if I find one more crusty sock in this house I will serve it to you for dinner!

The oldest was laughing at me but stopped laughing when I told him I would make him eat the nasty crusty sock, the youngest was locked on every word but never said anything.

So this brings me to my now 12 year son taking a damn hour and fifteen minute shower the other night and then getting up before the alarm went off the very next morning and getting back into the shower for another 1 hour long shower! OMG

Why did GOD bless me of all people with boys! So the point of this blog is that kids pay attention to everything that is said no matter their age and thank GOD cause I swear if I start finding crusty socks again I will puke!

My Head Hurts From Thinking!

D has been texting me all day while he and I have been at work! We have so much to talk about. He told me he was in "like" with me(it's like a school yard crush ;)). He also said that he has been bragging to his buddies that he has a "hot" new lady who likes him!

He was so cute the other night when he came over. He said I have a surprise....really? ....he then pulled out his camera and said I have something you need to see....so when he turned it on the pictures from the night we met were on it and a video of us at the bar we met in.

Yes 3 years ago, on a chance meeting because I got stood up, when I ended up at the sports bar in my evening gown, were our pictures together of two strangers striking up a romance from the start.

I was amazed ...what is even funnier he had a friend with him at the bar taking the pictures and video of us that night and I don't even recall him having a friend with him that night, I only remember him!

WOW...I'm pretty excited and anxious, he invited my son and I to a movie Thursday night after school and to dinner. I think it will be fun so we made plans to have a kids night out with the two preteens- his ten year old daughter and my twelve year old son.

I think he likes me! I'm super excited..

So now when do I move it to the next level?

How do I give up T and when?

I'm am really nervous...OMG I need to calm down and go with the flow or I will scare him off!

Shit I want to jump up and down with excitement already!

I have officially gone crazy! I think I'm way over thinking this already, but he is keeping a smile on my face!

Oh and he just texted me and said by the way on my way home tonight I stopped by the theater and got all of our tickets for the movie on Thursday! I'm impressed, he must be really thinking he is going to stick around and make me fall for him! :)

Is He A Misogynist?

I'm not going to lie, I had to google misogynist, I had no clue what it meant...OMG This definition sums it up about it...

WARNING:....A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his!

I seriously found this definition on google at www.urbandictionary.com/define

So I sent this definition to my friend and fellow blogger OilField Trash

He had stated in his blog that he had been accused of being a misogynist several times. Now I can't say that I have ever called anyone this word since I personally didn't have a clue what the hell it meant. However I'm pretty sure my ex-husband fits this definition perfectly! I think I should post a picture of him beside the definition on the urban dictionary website! So the opposite is called misandry, from the Greek, literally, meaning hatred of men. ...

Now O-T said "I'm not really one" and my response to him was "not really..makes you sound guilty?!" I went on to say I think that he may just be saying things that they don't want to hear...you know the truth hurts kind of stuff!

I think some PEOPLE need to grow up and listen sometimes. Not everything is a personal attack, and not every criticising opinion is bad, maybe its just a suggestive critique. Now I know men are sometimes PIGS...but seriously if every man you meet is a "misogynist", maybe your negative karma needs a shift in the moon alignments or something.

I have had my fair share of Misogynists, but as I get older and my brain is maturing I realize maybe I judged someone wrong. Maybe I jumped the gun and had an opinion formed just because I didn't want to form any other opinion.

There are those women who are man haters...not me of course I love men, and those men who are women haters! Those who would rather chew you up and spit you out than look at you. Yes you know the type!

However if jumping the gun and judging someone is a prejudice reaction, to something that they said or done, do they deserve a second chance?

I have a hunch that very few men or women are actually misogynists/misandrists . I mean I'm pretty damn sure Uran Vandersloot is definitely one and John Gardner is also and all of the other men/women who rape and beat and kill men/women are all misogynists/misandrist. I will by no means defend them or their actions.

A normal man/woman in your everyday life that isn't raping you , beating , or killing you probably isn't a misogynist/misandrist.

I REALLY THINK PEOPLE NEED TO SUCK IT UP AND STOP WHINING!

Not everything said is going to be your way ..this isn't Burger King! Also The truth isn't always your favorite flavor, but swallow it and get over it! Your not going to like everyone or even what everyone says or does, so why the HELL do you let these people dictate your feelings and your day?!

We should all Love our fellow bloggers! :)

The Man That (almost) Kissed Me On New Years!

So Thank you to all who understood and commented on my boredom post the other night. My evening didn't turn out as boring as I thought it would. You see back in May when I moved out and broke my engagement off I also downsized material things in my life.

The first to go was my Blackberry (crack-berry). Yes I went backwards from technology and got a regular no internet flip phone with NO perks! I thought I would die without my blackberry, I swear it use to be glued to my hand. In reality I survived without it!

When I down graded I had to upload my contacts back onto my new non-techno phone. Now if you have ever had a blackberry it's a different system that keeps your contacts than the regular one and since I had gotten engaged I had deleted most my old contacts off my blackberry.

However when you down grade and need your contacts put on your non-smart phone (it's cheaper and works better so I think it's a smarter phone), you have to go back to your old contacts list which included people that I truly hadn't talked to in years and some I didn't even remember.

So if you read my previous post In A Sports Bar In An Evening Gown you would have noticed maybe that I mentioned my evening which included two kisses from random strangers, however I was completely wrong I was only kissed by one stranger. Yes I still had one of their numbers and when I posted that post I texted D. The good looking man at the bar beside me that had wanted to kiss me but another man beat him to it out of the blue and shocked me.

D who is a single father of a 10 yr old girl, who has a good job and two bachelors degrees, texted me back , within seconds. I was shocked he still had my number. D tells me he recently got dumped by his fiance because she left him for a Miami Heat Player! I couldn't help but laugh. That has to be a pretty cool story to tell as a man! LMAO...OK maybe I'm just being mean!

So the other night while bored the night before Thanksgiving I invited him over. He said sure even though it was late when he got off work and he would have to leave and go straight to his mom's for their family dinner the next morning.

So D arrived at my apartment at at 10:15 pm and sat on the other end of the couch from me. We talked and talked and talked.....3 hours! yes 3 hours later after 1 am we were still talking. WOW he is truly a gentleman and could even carry on a conversation. On top of that he loves college football!

OMG! I may be jumping the gun here but I think he likes me! He called after-wards and said how much he enjoyed our conversation and then texted all the next day while at his mom's.

Seriously I'm super excited about this guy! I'm not sure why but he made me a little nervous but completely comfortable! Woohoo I will keep you all posted.

Wow I spent an entire evening with a good-looking, intelligent, funny man without getting bored to pieces!

Nothing Important or Even Interesting

While I'm sitting here waiting on Criminal Minds to start on the east-coast. I'm wondering how I ended up alone again on Thanksgiving? My youngest son is at his dad's, my oldest is at his girlfriends/flavor of the weeks, and I'm here all alone....
I don't mind it, it's just quite...unusually quite!
My neighbors moved out a few weeks ago, so it is quieter than normal around here...

I did make two beautiful cakes to take to my brothers tomorrow. A strawberry cake with fresh strawberries and whipped topping on top and an Mandarin Orange cake with crushed pineapples and whipped topping on top...

Making desserts are way more tiring than making dinner...there is so much effort and attention that you have to give them! It's like entertaining men...lmao Yes I'm serious if you give them attention they are receptive and act right. If you ignore them they misbehave and fall.

I hope everyone has a great holiday and eat lots of good food! I'll be back to my less boring self tomorrow!

Missing My True Love

Here's a picture of me in my favorite place in the whole world!

Yes I know it's not healthy but I don't drink and I don't smoke and I have never used drugs so get over it! My first love is the beach! Above all else of material things I feel at home at the beach. It's my place of solitude and solace. It's my place of complete relaxation. I can be there with anyone or all alone and feel completely at ease with life.

I spend all my vacations at the beach. I try to go at least 4 times a year. The 6 hour drive or 10 hour drive depending where I'm heading is always worth it!

You might be wondering why I am blogging about the beach in the middle of the holiday winter. Well the truth is , I miss it! I miss the sand between my toes. I miss feeling the ocean breeze swirling around my body, while listening to the seagulls squawk and watching the pelicans swooping down into the waves. Feeling the waves roll in across my feet and hearing them roll upon the the shore. I absolutely love feeling the sun kissing my body it is the most relaxing feeling I could ever feel!

I miss summer, I miss the beach! I hate to be cold! Yes I know I'm spoiling all those winter lovers pictures and posts but I can't help it...yes snow is pretty but way too cold for me! I much rather prefer the sandy beaches, and the HOT summer sun!

The Taste Of A Man

I want to tell you about my love for the taste of a man. How I love to savor his scent and texture. How I love to lick, suck, engulf, and wrap my lips and tongue about his manhood.

Yes I love to give oral sex to a man. I love to feel him harden with my touch and start throbbing with the warmth of my breath, and become slick with the juices of my mouth!

I love to feel him shift his pelvic while I'm licking him. To feel him lifting himself off the bed to penetrate further into my wet, dripping mouth, that is engulfing his manhood.

I love the sound of his pleasure seeping out of between his lips while moaning how good it feels.

I love to feel my lips wrapped around the tip and licking the head with my moist tongue and slowly engulfing him sliding my lips down his shaft to taste every inch of him. Feeling him throbbing inside my mouth and the heat from his excitement while he is seeping with wetness from fucking my mouth slowly at first then faster and while I'm caressing his jewels and massaging the base for his pleasure.

I love to feel how he stiffens up and is throbbing with excitement telling me that he is about to cum. Until I feel the warmth of his explosion on my tongue while he is having muscles spams and trying to catch his breathe.

Yes, Just the thought of it sends me to a cold shower and I loved it! Don't be alarmed,lol, it happens to me quite often!

I could feel my pussy throbbing and my wetness seeping out through my panties while writing this!

I had to excuse myself and take a shower while the water poured over my body I was touching myself with one finger then two feeling my clit fill and get hard with pleasure . I continued getting faster and the shaking in my legs made me weak as my pussy tightened and spasmed and I cum, while the water washed over me and I stepped back and leaned against the shower wall to balance myself from falling!

My Most Pleasurable Birthday Memory!

I was asked by a friend of mine the other day if I had ever had sex with two men at the same time. My answer was NO, have you? His answer was NO, I was hoping you had so you could tell me about it. What? Just because I'm a sexual person doesn't mean I would have sex with two men at one time. Besides why do my friends try to live through me....

Then I decided to tell him about my birthday a couple years ago. I never had the desire to sleep with two men at the same time. I would think it would be odd for the men? I'm trying to picture what they would be doing and I just can't get it to fit in my brain.


Anyway I had to work on my birthday which is never unusual, since it's not officially been declared a national holiday, yet. While I was sitting in at my desk at my second job, my friend and co-worker asked what I would be doing that evening for my birthday and my response was having sex. Her response was, with B or T.



You see my friend knew my obsession with T and that I was still seeing B as well. So when she said B or T I got this Cheshire cat grin on my face and said BOTH! Her young mind couldn't process that kind of information. With a confused look, she said "what? both?". Yes, I replied both. Then it hit me she thought I meant at the same time. Oh my NO!


You see they knew about each other but they did not like each other, to say it nicely. lol...Yes I did mean they actually knew about each other, they also knew that I was having sex with each of them also, BUT they probably, and hopefully will NEVER know I had sex with them in the same hour of each other.....


Ok cut me some lack...it was MY birthday! I left work after 8.5 hours in a cubicle with no window and called B. I told him I wanted sex as my birthday gift! Of course he was just fine with that, so before getting home he met me on a dead in road in our town.



The road was deserted and turned from pavement to red clay at the end of it. He met me there and we laid down the tailgate of his truck and out in the sexy outdoors under the July summer sunny sky I was bent over his tailgate while we had some great hair pulling ass smacking from behind fucking! It was great!



I left there and it took me five minutes to get home and straight to the shower I went to get washed up and get some clean clothes on. When I got out of the shower I had received a text from T. He wanted to know my plans for the evening and I said well I was hoping to get with him to get some sex for my birthday!

Woohoo....5 minutes later I was over at his place naked and straddling him on the couch, till he flipped me over and I got some more great hair pulling ass smacking from behind fucking! I love it from behind! There is nothing that feeling so damn great!.......ok well maybe being licked into submission but that was already established in another post.

I so enjoyed my birthday that year, and I would love to do it again this year!

My Turkey Story

First I'd like to thank Semi True Torystellar at Can U Relate? for this prestigious award. I am very honored. I will post it with my other awards that I have been blessed to receive from everyone on my Awards! Thank you! Thank you. post!

Last year was the first year that I hosted Thanksgiving at my house. Yes I was a Thanksgiving hostess virgin! So against better judgment I invited my entire family to our (mine and R's) home for a day of family, fun, and food!

Now his home is full of collectibles, glass, pictures, vases, lamps, a sort of magazine perfect living area. Not really(meaning not at all) kid friendly, this didn't help the fact that my family hated (and still does) R so you can see why I say against my better judgment.

My brother and his new girlfriend show up with her 2 year old son. My middle sister shows up with her family which includes two kids and my youngest sister showed up with her family which included three more kids, and R's brother showed up with two of his kids. It was a packed house and all was going fine, except the 2 year old!

Yes my brothers new girlfriend brought her two year old but wasn't watching him, chasing him, controlling him, or even taking care of him. R kept coming to me while I'm trying to cook telling me "she needs to get her kid", "she's not watching her kid", "could you get your new sis-in-law to handle her kid". OMG i wanted to scream. Seriously my stress level was through the roof!

Then the 2 year old broke a glass globe! Yes on top of the stress now there was anger!

Anyway back to the turkey! I have never in my life cooked a turkey, and I'm not a fan of eating turkey, because it's always so dry, but I started looking up recipes. I came across a recipe on how to cook a turkey in a crock-pot. Perfect, put the turkey in my big ass crock pot, season, and let it cook it's self. That I could do!

I must say I was impressed and so was the family. The turkey turned out beautiful, and moist. The only problem I had was getting that damn bird out of the crock-pot in one piece and onto a serving platter. Every time I attempted to pick it up, it was falling apart. So I had this brilliant idea! I would drain the crock-pot turkey juice into a baking pan and then put my platter upside down on top of the crock-pot and then flip it onto the platter! Great! the turkey was then on the platter in one piece....all except it was upside down! ugh! OK new plan, this time get another platter (good thing R is a hoarder and had like 8 of them), and flip the new platter upside down on the bird and flip it over.....worked perfectly!

I had the most beautiful turkey ever! It was browned perfectly, moist, and fully cooked to perfection! I was so very proud of myself!

The day was long, the food was great, and the family was happy. All except for R, he was still furious that kid wasn't being watched and had broken one of his 10 billion prize possessions! I swear to everyone I never heard the end of that rant. He even asked me the other day if my new sis-in-law had gotten any more parenting skills since the new baby had come into our family!

I'm thankful to say that this year we are having Thanksgiving at my brother's house! :)

Odds & Ends II

I still haven't talked to my psycho sister, except to say, while laughing, congratulation, because her and my bro-in-law S are getting married again! I thought I was going to fall in the floor laughing when she posted that he had asked her for the fourth time to marry him. This will be their third marriage to each other!I'm serious after filing and paying for 3 divorces and completing only 2 of them! LMAO who does that? What a dumb ass he is!

J has been hanging around after apologizing for being crazy and we sort of fell back into the swing of things. Even though I know it won't go anywhere he is great in bed!

R (my ex fiance) has been lingering around and trying to get me to spend time with him, which I did on Thursday, I couldn't help myself. I had been "out of order" for almost three weeks and I needed some sex, and he knows how to please me!

E (the much younger co-worker) was trying his best to get me to go out with him, and his friends last night. A night of drinks at a local restaurant seated at the bar, then to the local pool hall for some fun with his 20 something year old friends all drinking and smoking, just sounded like too much fun (sarcasm) for me. I turned him down rather quickly. Lets face it, I'm not into boy-toys, drinking isn't my thing, and I like my air straight up not tainted with carcinogens!

My 12 year old son got in trouble at school Friday, which I will have to address on Monday, since I work all weekend every weekend.

I have noticed several blogs this weekend out the lack of luster on the weekend and/or the slow down of their blog comments. I don't know about anyone else but while I'm at work which is every weekend from dawn to dusk (yes I work Fri sat and Sunday double shifts), I can read blog posts but not if they are marked adult content (like mine lol) and I can't post comments on them unless they have those pop up comment boxes....I have no idea why but for some reason the comment portion of blogging is blocked on my work computers.....So rest assured I am reading your weekend post and will catch up on comments on Monday.

On a happier note I have taken some time off for next month to go spend some time with my best friend and youngest sister, and I can't wait! We always have fun and get to catch up in person on each others lives. You know girl talk, a night of dinner and drinks without the kids, and a few days of after Christmas shopping....I so can't wait. I only get to see her about 3-4 times a year since we live quite far apart. :(

Why I Love Blogs!

I love reading other people's blogs. It gives me a glimpse into their thoughts and life. I get to be apart of their thought process without being a part of their life.

I like the benign objectivity from others not just to justify my train of thoughts but also to bounce ideas and pathways of situations off of!

Its about the randomness, of almost having the super power of invisibility and peeking into someones soul!

Yes it is much easier to be fully uncovered in blogs as well, not because we are ashamed of who we are, it's because we desire a place to vent the person we are without biases.

It's a virtual diary, a play by play projection of our life and soul, it's an open honest completely unbiased untainted unwrapped conversation that you would have with your best friend .

It's a reflection of ourselves, that show our beauties, our flaws, and occasionally our claws.

It's who I am, regardless of who you are.

It's a version of me that isn't tainted by my surroundings, rather it's a product of my experiences.

It's a vulnerability that nemesis our lives at times and it's also a gateway that deepens the journey, either by tip toeing or walking boldly into the authentic you.

Creep Factor

So I have this saying that some people just ooze creepiness and definitively have the creep factor!

I had to go pick up my son early from school today, take him to the Doctor's office then stop by Walmart to get his prescriptions filled.

While waiting for his medicines to be filled which was 45 minutes we walked around the store a bit. He led me to the bikes department where we passed by this man who was talking loudly on his phone, at that point he turns his phone up towards the ceiling (like that stopped the person on the other end from hearing) and says straight at me "damn your a beautiful woman, and you must know that", then brings the phone back down to his mouth where he says "yes baby I was talking to you who else would I be saying that to" as he was winking at me and my son said mom lets get out of here. Which we did!

Seriously what a creep.
First of all I was walking around Walmart with my 12 year old son. I'm not by far a drop dead gorgeous woman, I'm really your average girl
next door kind of pretty, so I guess that means anyone thinks they have a chance...lmao
Who does that! While they are on the phone with their significant other or otherwise, What a creep!

So this leads me to the man that works as one of the janitorial staff at the hospital he is all kinds of Bates Motel creepy! Every time I pass by him I get creepy skin crawls!

So one day I was sitting in my office calling patients to remind them of their appointments the following morning and he walked in the door behind me while I was on the phone.

I announced who I was and who I was trying to reach and at the other end of the phone conversation the woman politely says " I believe you have the wrong number dear this is the county jail." I said Thank you and hung up. While I mumbled to myself huh well I guess we have the wrong number for this patient since I just called the county jail, at which point the bates motel creepy man says oh I know the number and rattles off the number of the jail perfectly! OMG!

I freaked out, I said nothing as I got up and took my list out of my office. I purposely avoid that man every time I see him , eww he even looks like Norman Bates!

Men Being Led Around

Let me start by saying not all men are dumb but even some of the smart ones make dumb choices, when being led around by their penis!

I was at a local comedy club with my sister and brother-in-law two years ago. We walked in got seated and was having appetizers when two couples were seated in front of us. Now this is a very very small comedy club but very popular the seats are practically on top of each other and there is no room to breathe. The small round tables were inches apart and so the couples in front of us were in our bubble so to speak, but so was the entire club.

The man directly in-front of me kept eyeballing me, he would wait till his date looked away or was talking to her friend and then flash a smile and a wink my way. When I didn't respond he slowly and ever so sneaky shifted his chair back further into our bubble reaching around with his arm on the other side of his body away from his date and preceded to rub my leg! WTH

My bro-in-law was furious as I slid back to try to get away from the creeps hand on my leg! As I did he looks back and motioned his head towards the bathroom! SERIOUSLY! This guy thought I'd follow him to the bathroom! My bro-in-law instead follows him to the bathroom where he informed him that if he continued to disrespect me and the woman he was with that he would bring his dates attention to the situation. In which the man calmly said "man why are you cock blocking me"! Seriously, this guy had the nerve!


He returns to his table before my bro-in-law returns and slips a napkin with his phone number on my leg just as my bro-in-law sits down at the table he was furious again, he reached over grabbed the napkin and politely handed it to his date by saying "I think you dropped this"! Yes the rest of the night went a little tensely and this guy still tried relentlessly to get me to follow him to the bathroom area to NO avail of course!

What exactly was going through his head?
I wonder sometimes why men do things like this! Then I remember that some of them let their penis control them and lead them around. It's like a penis leash!

This wasn't the first nor the last time my bro-in-law saved me from a creep! Stay tuned I'll post the next one soon!

In A Sports Bar In An Evening Gown

A few years ago (nearly ten) I met this man at a friends wedding. K was with his girlfriend Ta-Ta(one of my co-workers) at that time, and I was married and we were all seated together at the reception.

Let me start off by saying any one who has a wedding on a Saturday in the fall should be required to have big screen TV's with football playing in every corner of their wedding! I'm a huge NCAA football fanatic! Just so happens so was K. While everyone else was eating K and I were listening to the sports broadcast of two separate games.

I didn't think about that day for years, until four years later when I was sitting in the floor outside my college classroom frantically trying to finish my homework, in my proper college attire (my favorite SEC FB team shirt with matching purse) of course, when this man walks up and says something about my shirt. When I looked up to respond to his remark and the awful color of his shirt (of a rival team), he looked vaguely familiar. We chatted for a few minutes, with small talk before we had to go into separate classes.

To my surprise we was waiting on me after class and we chatted some more, after a few days of random chatting he asked me out. Sitting across from him on our first lunch date, it hit me, I knew him from the wedding he had dated my co-worker Ta-Ta. I brought it to his attention and he said I thought I knew you. We laughed and continued our lunch. He said he had asked about me several times after him and Ta-Ta broke up but she wouldn't respond...well duh!

So we continue to date casually just a lunch date here and there and such nothing sexual. Months go by and he had finally wore me down. Don't get me wrong I am extremely attracted to him and would have gave in months earlier except I had this intuition that he was a player. So after months (or technically years) of him chasing me, I gave in. We had the relationship talk.

A few weeks later he vanished. Yes after all that chasing he was gone. I just turned around and started again on my singleness there was no tears, no sadness, however I was a little confused on why chase for so long then run. A few months later he calls and wants to talk so I obliged him and we meet for dinner and we remained friends, no not friends with benefits, just friends. That year we had occasionally dated and had fun together nothing sexual, New Years Eve rolled around and I invited him to a formal party, to of course be my "eye candy" and "arm candy", initially to make T (my lover who I wish would love me!) jealous.

I get all dressed up have my hair and makeup done slip into a borrowed evening gown and head over to his place to pick him up. I get there and he is all dressed in a suit and looking all yummy! I started to just attack him before the party, but we were running late so we went on to the party at a fancy convention center in the closest big town to me. Everyone looked so beautiful and fancy, I think I was star struck! I have never had a wedding or been to prom or anything like this and it was mesmerizing to me!

We walked in, I headed to the bathroom to make sure my hair and makeup were just right and walked back out, while I was in the restroom he said "I'll go get us some drinks for us and then meet you back here to find a seat" . Sounded good to me, but when I stepped out of the restroom he rounded the corner in a full blown sprint and dodged into the bathroom quicker than anyone I have ever seen. I stood there not knowing what to do or what had happened patiently. Ten minutes or more later he peaks out sprinted out and grabs my hand and practically ushered me back to my car saying we must leave immediately.

Confused I said "what is wrong, are you ok?" In the car he doesn't say anything. I try to ask questions but I wasn't sure what to ask and even why , so I said where are we going? He said "HOME" ! Hell NO I'm not going home, I just got all dressed up to go to my first fancy dance and your running away with me! No, so I take him and he gets out, I suppose expecting me to join him, which I quickly shot down, and left. With really no where to go and refusing to return alone to my fancy party I was invited to a sports bar near by with a female friend of mine.

Yes I walked into this hole in the wall sports bar in my navy blue sparking tight cleavage showing spaghetti strapped evening gown and 6 inch stilettos! Everyone starred at me! I walked over to the bar where my friend and her friends were sitting and ordered a beer. Yes in my evening gown with my beer in hand I finished out the old year and welcomed the new one, which included two (really only one, I wanted a kiss from the other) kisses from random strangers (which was weird) but hell it was better than none!

So I still talk to K and recently he has been on this "I love you and want to marry you" kick! WTF! We aren't dating and we aren't sleeping together and I have pretty much kept my distance from him ever since that night 3 years ago and still with no explanation of the events that happened. He wants to date me, marry me and love me....I'm not buying and I'm not stupid!

What Was I Thinking?!

Yes, unfortunately I'm officially "out of order". I woke up Saturday morning not feeling so well. I was having a little issue "down-there". NO it isn't an STD, it was a boil that kept getting bigger and bigger, right in the inside crease of my leg. You know where your panties and jeans hit you. Yes right there! OMG it hurt so damn bad I couldn't even walk by Monday morning!

By Monday afternoon I was at the Doctors office in tears. As I undressed from the waist down I was horrified that boil looked like an alien coming out of my skin...GROSS! Just trust me it was GROSS! So I crawled up on the table and it started draining all down my leg and onto the thin ass paper table cover as I pulled the other thin ass paper cover on top of me...(for modesty reasons...yeah right ), I then had to ...yep you guessed it...put my feet in those damn stirrups!

Waiting there flat on my back, because I can't sit on my ass it hurt too bad....and waiting ...and waiting...the midwife comes in that has always seen me for every visit asks my a few questions, the poked her head down there to check out why I was crying on her table.......silence........still silent......then she said "I need to go get the doctor to look this I think it needs to be lanced". OMG! For the next hour I laid on the table crying my eyes out while he "numbed" (which is an oxymoron, because they stuck this huge ass needle in my sore spots and it hurt like HELL) the area was then sliced open drained out and packed, the now bigger wound, with gauze! OMG I hurt !

Procedure was done and I very carefully crawled my way back out to my car, thinking I can make it home! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!
I made it to the Walmart, where I thought my prescriptions would be ready since my Dr. called them in before I left.....again WHAT WAS I THINKING!
I was in so much pain that a woman I know that just so happened to be my ex-fiance's mom walked over to see how I was doing and I PASSED OUT! yes! PASSED OUT in Walmart!
There I was on the Walmart pharmacy floor with 20 or more people around me. Luckily C (the ex's mom) picked up my cell and called my sister to come get me. Unfortunately if you have been following my blog I haven't talked to my sister in over two months, and she told her to call my son.

My 18 yr old son shows up in his junky hoopty non-legal 4 door Oldsmobile that couldn't possibly have a muffler on it, car with a few "gangsta" friends that all smell like POT! I'm serious when I say non-legal not even 6 hours after that, he was pulled over and booked for drug possession and him and his gangsta friends are sitting in the county jail waiting for their court date which is set for Dec 7th. Yes apparently the twenty bucks I gave him for gas (because his car was on E when he picked me up) , went straight the local drug dealers and when his car quit running for lack of gas in the middle of the our town square (IE:the court house in the center of town that you literally have to drive around to get to where ever you go here). The local PO-PO in which I'm fairly close to stops to check and smells POT (shocking! lol). YES My son is still sitting in the county jail and will remain there till court. (don't judge me, he needs to learn a lesson, besides his grandparents and all his family and friends have agreed to leave him there)

Long story short I made it home safely and I am now feeling better thanks to my antibiotics and a bunch of hydrocodones, after my followup visit on Wednesday. I hope to be back in working order by my next followup visit on Monday! PRAY for me!