Saturday, August 28, 2010

Life For An Adolescent Misjudgement?

Here’s a little back ground info on myself. When I was 14 I was dating a 16 year old, when I was 15 I was pregnant by the same 17 year old and married with a kid at 16 to the same 18 year old. My sister who was 13 had a live in …Yes I said “live-in “boyfriend who was 19 years old. That should be all I need to say on how I was raised.

Now, I’ll to get to my reason, for this blog. I was recently introduced to a man, yes by my crazy sister, that is nice, polite, cute, funny, smart, and honest. He was very upfront about his past and very honest about why he was so forthcoming with all his information.

J- Is 30. He spent 3 years in prison for probation violation for statutory rape when he was 22. He was 22 the girl was the 15 year old daughter of one of the city officials in our small southern town. He said it never happened and she said it never happened but her dad and mom still had him convicted of it.

So here’s the dilemma of the day. He is a “registered sex offender” because of it. Yes he told me up front about it, had all his court documents to collaborate his side of the story and told me he is a “registered sex offender”. I am trying not to judge him on his past “mess ups”, but I’d be lying to say my heart didn’t sink down into my toes when I looked him up on the sex offender registry in our state.

Now I know he has done his time and has stayed out of trouble since, so why am I so concerned? Well the stigma of dating a “registered sex offender” is a concern. My sister has a 15 year old, and out of concern and respect for her I must tell her if I have him around right? Is it her business? I’m confused on this part of it. I feel like I should tell her, but then again I feel like it was an isolated past event that isn’t anyone’s business. Am I right?

I know that if my parents had concerned themselves with whom my sisters and I were sleeping with then the “sex registered offenders” would be more plentiful for sure. Seriously I understand protecting our daughters from sex offenders, but I also understand protecting our sons from over-protective dads who think their daughters do no wrong, and the insane mothers who would swear in front of a judge their daughter was raised better than that.

I may have this all wrong, but I feel like I can justify my thoughts and make a stand on this situation. Any comments or advice are welcome. Why must we make these people pay with the rest of their lives for an adolescent mistake or misjudgement?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I Was Called A Player, MILF, and a Cougar

In one week’s times I have been called a player, MILF, and a cougar. Not all by the same person but still got me thinking “what exacting are these people telling me”!

So, I googled them. Here’s what I found, from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

First the animal definition: A capable stalk-and-ambush predator, the cougar pursues a wide variety of prey. Now this definition definitely describes my sister, not me! Lol

Then further down the page the slang terms showed up: Several English slang terms describe pairings in which one individual is much older than the other:

Let me address these one at a time.

• Cougar—a woman, 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior. The term is also commonly applied to women that are thirty or older.

I have not and will not pursue men (i.e. boy toys and or cubs/tadpoles) younger than me, especially a man eight (8) or more years younger than me. That would mean they would be eight (8) years or less older than my oldest son! OMG that’s just wrong! So please don’t refer to me as a cougar.

• Cub/Tadpole—a younger male who is going out with an older partner, often paired with the term Cougar.

Now this term is fits in with the cougar term quite well, but mentions nothing about the age of the males or how much older is their partner.

• MILF (an acronym of "Mother [or 'Mom'] I'd Like/Love to Fuck")—a sexually desirable older woman, though not necessarily one who has children.

Ok, so I find this term vulgar yet flattering at the same time. I don’t mind someone finding me sexually desirable; however I do find it hard to believe and hard to swallow that they really have to put me in the “older woman” category?

• Puma—a woman in her late twenties and early thirties who dates a younger man (i.e., 20-somethings), often considered a "cougar in training". It also means a cougar whose age disparity is less than eight years.

Puma, now that sounds more like me. Though, I don’t prey on men. I have on occasion been the aggressor towards a man to let him know I’m interested, because as we all know men don’t read minds! Lol

• Toy boy/Boy toy—a much younger boyfriend or husband of an older woman. A toy boy characterizes the one who is (and usually enjoys being) used for sexual gratification.

Why do they not put age specifics on the male terms? Sexist Wikipedia!

My sister called me a “player”! No, not to my face, even worse, to a man that likes me. Yes, she is determined to be my demise on my dating/ single-hood. A man that asked her about me got told “if you’re looking for a relationship move on, she is a player”. Well I asked her about this statement and she said “I just told him that your single and you do what you want, when you want, because there’s no ring on your finger”. That doesn’t classify a player. I don’t string men along promising things. I tell them all up front I’m very happily and extremely single. They can be my friend and see where it goes or they can just go.
I’m still trying to decipher why my sister is sabotaging my single-hood! Maybe she is jealous, maybe she is truly sincere in thinking I would be happier with a husband…lmao Either way maybe I should “steer clear of my sister dear” until she calms down a bit.

I Survived The Ambush

I survived the ambush with my single-hood intact. Yes I am quite use to the tactics of my younger sister trying to lasso me into a relationship, kicking and screaming lol.

By the time I got to the party after work, it had fizzled down to just a few people. Joe and his wing man Marcell, Julie, Seth, my sister,her husband and myself. While Seth was busy hitting on Julie and smoking every 4 mins, I entertained Joe and had a quite nice conversation. About 20 minutes into the conversation, Tim pulls up. Oh hell now I have two to entertain. So I continue my conversation with Joe. Acknowledged Tim when he walked in and followed Joe out to check out his motorcycle (which is quite nice)and say goodnight. After the goodnight and goodbyes were over I went back inside with Tim.

Tim had just stopped by to check out things and say hi then was headed back out the door to get back to his kids. So I say my goodbyes to Tim who grabs me and hugs me then plants a kiss on my lips just as Joe is walking back in to use the restroom and say goodbye one last time....awkward! So Joe goes by into the restroom, Tim says his goodbyes and walks out the door. Joe comes out of the bathroom and grabs me and hugs me just as Tim walks back in the door to go to the restroom......seriously! This is a dick measuring competition with me in the middle! Joe finally leaves and Tim comes out of the restroom to leave but not before getting the last hug!

With both men gone I can now relax and chill with the birthday man , my sister and Seth who was the last friend left there (staying the night because he had too many to drink). After Julie left he sets his sights on me? OMG So he leans over on the couch and tries to grab my hand and I quickly get up to go get something to drink. I come back and he tries to lay across the couch and lay his head in my lap and asks if he can touch my breasts! Serious! Hell no I don't even know you and I don't care that your drunk that's just rude! I decided I'd had enough fun and left ASAP. Turns out having to work the next morning works well for leaving early. Back home in bed by midnight with it storming (I am terrified of storms!)outside but somehow I felt better in my empty apartment then being tugged apart by feasting lions and men sizing up the competition. lol

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Beware of A Sister’s Good Intentions

My sister is ALWAYS trying to set me up with someone. Seriously, she thinks because I’m single I should be lonely, sad, and miserable. I’m NOT! I have tried to explain to her that I’m very happily single. I think her “selective mom hearing” only allows the “single” part to penetrate to her brain.

So tonight is my bro-in-laws birthday party and my sister of course expects me to be there along with all the other people she has invited. Oh did I mention she invited three (3) of them to introduce to me. This is not the worst of it, she also invited three (3) of my ex boyfriends. Why? I think she might be going senile like our mother! This is exactly something she would do if she knew anything about my life. At this point it sounds more like an ambush than a party.

Let me start with the exes.

• S who isn’t an ex; but is the man from the disaster date from a few posts ago will be there. Great and his entire family will be there as well. (Yes he is still texting me and trying to date me and no I’ve not responded). I’m sure he will approach me and ask something stupid and I’ll have to be mean. lol

• C RL will be there, I dated him a few times after I got divorced. It never went anyway because there isn’t an attraction on my part, but he did pursue me for over a year. No kisses or Sexual things just movies and dinners. I do hope he brings his girlfriend.

• Barry is invited but I doubt he will be there. He has been a friend of mine for about 12 yrs; we tried the relationship thing which didn’t work because the chemistry wasn’t there. It ended with me turning down his proposal. He has moved on to another proposal.

Now for the new ones.

• J, who is 30, no kids, going through a divorce and just got out of jail for a probation violation. My sister met him in a bar with her husband and they have been out all together with friends a few times and she thinks he’s perfect for me. LOL He’s a ex-con and he is thirty and technically and legally still hitched, what makes him perfect? I’m guessing she thinks because he is a friend of B’s (my exes) and B gave her the run down on him that he will be fine for me. Now when I say run down I really mean TMI (too much information). B said “oh ya I know that guy he has a ten inch dick”! Ok I don’t know why or how he knows that but I haven’t even met him yet and already have a visual of his manhood! OMG! Oh and did I mention he has a motorcycle!

• Seth, who is a co-worker of my bro-in-laws. Tattoos and piercings and drinks quite a bit and a smoker but has a job and a motorcycle. Not clear on his status but sounds interesting at least.

• T, 36, two kids, separated and owns his own business; you know the ex husbands BFF. Yes he will be there to try to steal a few minutes away from everyone with me.

I’m sure tonight will be interesting at the least. Doesn’t this sound like an ambush?! Got to love the sister!

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Ex's BFF

Monday I talked to Tim who is my 2nd ex-husbands, best friend. Ok, So it's not the greatest choice for hooking up with someone that's your ex is friends with much less his "best" friend. Ok here's the story.....

Six years ago when I was going through my last divorce, so was Tim. He had tried at that point to date me...awkward! I thought he was just hanging around to get information to relay back to my ex, which would have been logical, but logic with men is scarce. I ignored him, mainly because the friends circle would have been un-broken and my ex would have killed us both! He eventually decided that he couldn't leave his kids and remarried his ex (because that always works, right?).

Tim is a good guy, guy next door type, a great father to his kids and a hard worker. He is so so sweet and would make great boyfriend material except for he's my ex's bff. He is currently going through his second divorce from the same woman whom is the mother of his children (2). I'm not quite sure why he thinks it will work now and not before (the leaving of his marriage). However I do kinda like him and all his cuteness.

Wrong of me? I don't know, since my ex has been remarried for almost as long as we have been divorced. Is there a statue of limitations on an ex mans bff? I'm not sure about this one. He has come by every day this week before going to work to talk to me. Oh and he did buy me a washer and microwave for my new apartment...did I mention he was a good guy!

He came by this morning to chat and just mentioned casually that he had told my ex that we had been talking for a week now and waited for his reaction. I don't know if that was the brightest of ideas but like I mentioned before logic is scarce in men. So my ex apparently said nothing to him about it and changed the subject. odd? Yes I find that very odd, but I think Tim took it as acceptance and approval. I am not quite sure how I feel about that.

To answer your curiosity, NO I have never touched the man. No kisses, no touches, no sex, and or sexual behavior with him or towards him. Just a slow casual kind of brewing relationship, the man is still legally married. So advice anyone how should I proceed with this relationship or lack of? I'm thinking that it will run it's course and he will return to his family, in which case I would be fine with it.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Boy Toys Need Not Apply!

Why does 20 something boys try and act as if they know what they are doing? Ok I know 26 doesn’t quite count as being a boy but 22 sure seems like it should, even though legal age is 18. I’d be furious if some thirty something woman was trying to pick up my 18 year old son. Then again I’d probably laugh, knowing they would have there hands full with his rowdy class clown attitude and his immature demeanor.

However I have these two nice looking boys who are insistent on being my “boy toys”. One, Evan who is 26 very handsome, sweet, and quite flattering happens to work in the same hospital. The other one Nick is 22 extremely a hottie and very persistent that he only wants me for sex.

Evan, I have known for about 3 years now and he has always asked about dating me and I have just blown him off as if he is joking but lately has become quite persistent. He has liked me since the day he met me. I can’t imagine why, he is such a cutie pie and could get anyone of the young little nurses walking about here, but insists on focusing on me. Now I’m not quite sure how to deal with him just yet, but I’m sure it will come to me.:)

Nick on the other hand is a very well built 22 year old hard body with abs of steel who I met in college a few years back when he was just 18 and trying to get into my bed, is very well hung, (as I can tell by his manhood pictures that he keeps texting me). Now ,however as attempting he might be, I just keep thinking I’m sure his parents wouldn’t approve…and how I’m not sure they make enough condoms for me to be having wild sex with a bartender that looks like this, lol not to mention my conscious knowing he is a growing boy still… man ole man I could definitely teach him a few things, if I weren’t scared of things I couldn’t wash off!

I pretty much shoo’d Nick out the door off as quickly as he came in. After about two weeks of him sexting details of how he wanted me positioned and sending me pixs of his manhood  , he revealed that he had a girlfriend who is unaware of her boyfriends infidelities either that or she is just too young and naive to believe that her gorgeous boyfriend, who is a bartender, is a cheater.

All I keep thinking when I think about these younger boys is how sex wasn’t nearly as good with them when I was their age. All they want is sex and when I say sex, what I really mean is to pleasure themselves in a speedy throwdown that doesn’t involve taking the time to make sure my needs are met! Hello! I’m not into teaching impatient boys how to be my toys. I need an experience and a willingness to pleasure me first, and then I’ll take care of him.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I’m No Bendable Barbie?

Why is it that men think when they get you into a sexual position that you automatically become “bendable Barbie”? Seriously?

My legs don’t bend that why, my ankles aren’t made to go up that far and my back doesn’t have a hinge!

I’m pretty sure that all my girlfriends have had this same experience before, but for those of you that haven’t, you’re sure to find this humorous!

I seem to find these men that think that once I’m “lubed” that my parts become bendable! My parts don’t bend in awkward ways or positions! My ankles don’t ever go up past my ears, hell I’m lucky to bend over and tie my shoes on a daily basis. In fact my shoes stayed double knotted and I just slip then on! Seriously! Most the time I’m lucky to see past my boobs much less see my ankles.

What about the splits? Why do they think that if I can’t do the splits in my daily life, where one of my legs go straight out in front of me and the other goes straight out behind me that the fact that I’m void of clothes gives me “super Barbie powers” and my joints become able to bend in unnatural positions! No, I don’t want you to put one of my ankles on your shoulder and try to pound your manhood into me while I’m in extreme pain from my hamstring being stretched beyond repair!

Oh and the other bendable positions that they think we can do is put our head between our legs! No! We can’t breathe or enjoy sex with one of our ankles on your shoulder much less both of our ankles on your shoulders! Seriously, they think that if we could actually put our ankles behind our heads that we would need them putting their body weight on top of us and sweating profusely on us while breathing hard in our face asking us if that feels good?

I just want to say, No, man it doesn’t but if you could just move and if I could reach my tongue that far I’m sure it would feel a lot better, than you having my legs up around my ears, your body weight on me killing me and your sweat dripping in my eyes!

I’m not fat by any means; I am very blessed with curves in right places though. I may have Barbie’s boobs and ass, (that doesn’t mean I’m bendable!) just not her swivel joints nor her bendable rubber legs! I’m not made from any plastic and my joints don’t move like a Barbie nor am I as flexible as I was when I was younger. I enjoy various positions, in various places but I prefer my limbs to stay intact and my joints and muscles not to ache so much that I would consider calling up an orthopaedic surgeon to do some reattachments. Ha ha!