Saturday, August 28, 2010

Life For An Adolescent Misjudgement?

Here’s a little back ground info on myself. When I was 14 I was dating a 16 year old, when I was 15 I was pregnant by the same 17 year old and married with a kid at 16 to the same 18 year old. My sister who was 13 had a live in …Yes I said “live-in “boyfriend who was 19 years old. That should be all I need to say on how I was raised.

Now, I’ll to get to my reason, for this blog. I was recently introduced to a man, yes by my crazy sister, that is nice, polite, cute, funny, smart, and honest. He was very upfront about his past and very honest about why he was so forthcoming with all his information.

J- Is 30. He spent 3 years in prison for probation violation for statutory rape when he was 22. He was 22 the girl was the 15 year old daughter of one of the city officials in our small southern town. He said it never happened and she said it never happened but her dad and mom still had him convicted of it.

So here’s the dilemma of the day. He is a “registered sex offender” because of it. Yes he told me up front about it, had all his court documents to collaborate his side of the story and told me he is a “registered sex offender”. I am trying not to judge him on his past “mess ups”, but I’d be lying to say my heart didn’t sink down into my toes when I looked him up on the sex offender registry in our state.

Now I know he has done his time and has stayed out of trouble since, so why am I so concerned? Well the stigma of dating a “registered sex offender” is a concern. My sister has a 15 year old, and out of concern and respect for her I must tell her if I have him around right? Is it her business? I’m confused on this part of it. I feel like I should tell her, but then again I feel like it was an isolated past event that isn’t anyone’s business. Am I right?

I know that if my parents had concerned themselves with whom my sisters and I were sleeping with then the “sex registered offenders” would be more plentiful for sure. Seriously I understand protecting our daughters from sex offenders, but I also understand protecting our sons from over-protective dads who think their daughters do no wrong, and the insane mothers who would swear in front of a judge their daughter was raised better than that.

I may have this all wrong, but I feel like I can justify my thoughts and make a stand on this situation. Any comments or advice are welcome. Why must we make these people pay with the rest of their lives for an adolescent mistake or misjudgement?


  1. Wow. You are my first xxxrated blog and I am thrilled to have found you. I love the things I learn and find when I do some searching right here inside my computer. was hard for me not to immediately jump to conclusions about this guy...and to want to tell you to run for the hills, but in all honesty, you will do what you do, and as long as everyone knows who needs to know, and he was up front. He could've lied, or left some things out. but he didn't. And..who am I to say?

    I am just so thankful you're willing to be this forthcoming with your words.

  2. Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate your comment and thanks for following. I really like this guy and I have read all the court documents, newspaper articles and transcripts of his case and he was very upfront and honest about it all. Thank you your insight on my blog!

  3. Wow, this is hardcore stuff.