What Women Want!

Passion, a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something, a strong feeling that causes you to act in a dangerous way, or a strong sexual or romantic feeling for someone.

What we want as women is passion, passion for us , toward us, and about us. If your just gliding through life please keep gliding. 

Passion is essential in life and it is even more essential in love. Without passion we are just friends, roommates, colleagues, acquaintances. 

Women want to be wanted, desired, pursued, lusted after. 

Not a stalker , a passionate lover. One that can not go a day without touching you, kissing you, breathing you in, and wanting to be inside you! 

There is nothing more sexy than a confident testosterone driven passionate man pursuing the woman he desires. 

The kind of passion that is deliberate and primal with a very basic, powerful and specifically primary desire to the woman he wants.

An almost animal instinctive desire to want to, kiss, touch, lick, tease, and pleasure every single inch of you.

This is what a woman wants!

Where Did Passion Go?

I'm sitting in my bed with my husband's laptop blogging naked while he is at work. I often do this while he is at home and upstairs watching movies or playing an online game, trying to wait me out and make sure I'm asleep before he comes downstairs for fear that I'll want sex! This has been a regular occurrence since we he has gained a few extra pounds that he isn't use to having.

Ok I get it, he doesn't feel sexy...and he doesn't like the extra weight he has acquired in the last six months, but who does...That by no means,  means that his wife doesn't find him sexy and irresistible!

I'm all for naked! I'm all for hair-pulling push me up against a wall and have your way with me sex! He is the only man I know that would complain about his wife always wanting to get him naked and get frustrated for even mentioning sex to him.  So I really should not have told him the about the texting my and my BFF were texting but he asked and I told him the truth. He was not at all thrilled that I was discussing our sex life lack of a sex life with anyone, however if he isn't willing to talk about it I only have two options..one being my BFF and the other is blogging about it.

Anyway she sent me a picture of this man laying beside his wife sleeping with a caption over his head that said....I thought we were going to have sex..I could be on the Internet right now!

I responded with, my husband does the opposite..he stays on the Internet until he is sure I'm asleep.

She responded "Oh poor D, he has a wife that is sex crazy. I'm sure he wouldn't complain to his buddy's about it"

in which I laughed and responded not a chance. This is when he walked in and asked my what was so funny and I showed him the texts.....He was not happy!

Why is he so disheveled about his weight , and why doesn't he do something about it instead of shunning his wife in the bedroom because he has body issues? I thought only women had these kind of issues.
I know a little that was a little stereotyping comment..sorry ladies, but it's true , that is what I thought.

I want my passionate husband back! I want the man that I texted one day last spring right after he left for work and said "come back I miss you" and he sent back "what would you want me to do if I did come back" and I responded in detail what I would want him to do to me and within twenty minutes he was back in our driveway fulfilling my every wish of pushing my up against the bedroom wall stripping my of every inch on clothing and having his way with me! :)   ! That is the man I want back in my presence please!

I'm tired of my fingers smelling like my vagina!

Don't get me wrong I like the smell of my vaja-ja and I even like to masturbate, however it gets really old really quick, if that's all that's going on down there. So me and my tens fingers went shopping today. Yes, to the adult toy store down the road.

I so happened to pick the perfect day to go shopping in the adult toy store, there was a sale happening! lol Who knew they have things on sale in the erotica toy business? So anyway I have been in this store before and I wasn't impressed before so why would I have a different experience alone? Well we will just say I was in desperate need of some attention down there and I didn't have the time nor money to drive to the big city to get it.

So this little  lingerie shop with toys a mile from my house was perfect. All except it is owned by a very large and in charge married couple that are rude and not happy ever! I wonder why they own this little shop in the first place. They literally have "do not " do this and "do not" do that signs all over the place even before you walk into the place and don't attempt to answer your phone in there or even think about reaching for your phone, they will tackle you and warn you, that NO pictures are allowed in this place. And they aren't nice about it!

 For example as I'm checking out the lady says, this isn't the one I told you that it was 19.99 this one is 24.99....ok I know I read the sticker......are you sure you don't want the other one.....yes I'm sure, thank you though......well this one comes with a FREE penis shaped sleeve, would you like to pick one out to go with your purchase.....No thank you......Maybe you didn't hear me, I said they are FREE!.....No thank you I said......Well they come with this purchase all you have to do is pick one out it's free! ......NO Thank you! ........I don't think you understood me I said it's free!.....I finally said I completely understand you, I can read and speak english and I do not want a penis shaped sleeve to go over my silver bullet, it is more of an inconvience, it would be something else I have to hide and clean, so again NO THANK YOU!............Really people!

Anyway back to my fingers, they are tired and I am tired for them. So I thought I'd get me a new silver bullet . Seemed quite harmless to include a silver bullet into my newly wed relationship. Well to me it was, but not so much  to my husband, I might as well bought the biggest dildo in there and brought it home. Anyway, I didn't I bought a small little multi-speed dial silver bullet. Which I paid cash for because my bank nor the bank statement needs to reflect an incorrect opinion of my purchase or leave the imagination to the spectators. However I did stuff it to store it in an old checks box. How ironic, that if a thief breaks in and goes through my night stand to find things , that a box of checks might not be exactly what they might had in mind when they open it....lol

I came straight home opened it, washed it and began using.!  It was glorious! I haven't cummed so hard and so many times in a few weeks and I needed the release before I go insane. The little intense vibrating bullet , that really looks more like a missile is so very intense. It literally takes less than a minute to bring me to full blown and leg shaking organisms. I literally use to keep one in the glove box of my car for those occasions when you get  stuck in traffic. It made it a lot more fun. :)

So it has been about two years since I had my last toy and I don't know why I haven't replaced it sooner, but I intend on making sure I get my money's worth out of my newly bought silver friend, I would even let my husband tease me with it if he wasn't so offended that I purchased it.

Wedding Night Bliss?

This blog post is what I'm going to coin as a pg/r/pg rated blogwich (like a sandwich, meaning the first part is pg and the middle is rated R and it ends pg) :)

Our wedding was wonderful, it was a beautiful ceremony with our closest family and friends. We had 35 or so guests and my dress was awesome. It was what I always thought it would be as a little girl! :)

Friends and family had a great time. Ceremony started at 6:30pm so we had the entire day to prepare. Hair, makeup, dress, tuxes and rental car check. One sick vomiting kid...ugh and he was mine, but it was from all the candy he had eaten all day and all the cokes he wasn't use to having. He was better once my sister who is a nurse took him home and fed him chicken soup. Wedding went quick and it was lots of fun, then came the honeymoon!

Let me start by saying letting your new husband of two hours carry all the money , might have some hiccups in the situation sooner rather than later.

We got all settled in our rental car for our trip to Atlanta to catch the early flight out to the Dominican Republic for 7 days. Got about 20 miles down the road and realized we had no luggage, it was still in my car, that my sister took with her. Luckily we caught her and she met us to get our luggage. It was now midnight!

We had a wonderful trip to Atlanta checked into our hotel and he quickly grabbed me and peeled off over my head the sun dress I had replaced my wedding dress with to reveal my white lace corset with matching strings thongs, which didn't stay on long as it quite quickly hit the floor and I was lowered to the bed, he began to kiss me softly on my lips as he made his way across to my ear and down my neck kissing every inch of skin to where his hands were cupping my breasts tenderly massaging my nipples to make them firmly stand at attention till his lips and tongue could reach them.

Slowly his hands released my breast and began a smooth slither down my ribs, then down my waist to my hips to let his mouth take over my nipples. As he was making sure to give each of my breast ample attention with his tongue his hand was now cupping my womanness taking in the heat that being emitted and was rising and forming a wetness. My little white lacy panties were maneuvered to the side as he gently took the tip of one finger and dipped it slightly into my pussy to dampen it and to feel the moisture and heat rise while slowly moving up to find my clit which was then starving for some attention. The first touch sent shivers up my entire body, he continued  manipulating my clit to maximum alertness . Moving his mouth up to mine we passionately kissed while he slid my panties off and got his shirt and pants off to reveal his solid manhood. My wet desiring mouth made it slowly down his body to engulf his manhood into it feeling it's heat fill my mouth while my tongue lapped  up the dipping wetness of him, he was begging to be inside me, I slowly went back up and we met in the middle as his hardness found my wetness for some slipping in and out fun, feeling the heat and dripping wetness down my thighs onto the bed while I was firmly but gently with force holding on  to his back with my nails dug in panting to the rhythm of his thrusts till our climaxes collided in a hot wet moment of throbbing greatness and he collapsed on the bed beside me.

By this time it's 2:45 in the morning and making sure we had our things together we gather our melted bodies up to make sure our luggage and carry ones were all packed appropriately to quickly realize that we have NO money! Yes my newly acquired god of love making had left all our money in his tux pocket in which my sister who lives in northern Georgia so graciously volunteered to return the next day for us. So she had it more than 2 hours away and it was t-5 hours till take off to our honeymoon. So I called my sister who again graciously met us half way with our money but by this time my husband was asleep in the passenger seat and I drove there and back so at around 6 am I finally get into bed to wake up two hours later frantically trying to get our things together and get to the airport before take off, and foolishly forgetting that we hadn't stopped for gas to top off the rental car at 6 in the morning only for the rental company to charge an extra $110 for a half tank of gas! Note: do not ever return a rental car without topping off the gas tank first!

We happily and thankfully made it to our flight and safely to our all inclusive honeymoon suite for a week of wedded bliss in the beautiful Dominican Republic by 2 pm.......to be continued with pics on another post for another day. :)

Operation Sex Drive!

I'm not sure how I got so far behind on my blogging. It's been a year since I blogged and I've missed it, however I just couldn't gather the motivation for sitting at the computer and typing things out. I've had plenty of things to say and plenty of time to say it in, I just didn't do it. It's like I lost my Mo-Jo! I seem to have that effect on things.

So a whole year! Wow I have a lot of catching up to type about, don't I?

Ok so last year I got engaged, we bought a house and against better judgement of family we moved in together. Things went as expected! Living with someone makes everyone make adjustments in living, breathing, thinking, eating, crying, laughing, loving, and any other daily activities anyone could possibly think of. Yes it's true, however I do always stay the same person. I have never tried to be someone else or make the man I'm dating think I was anything but me.

Even my husband (yes it's official I did get married), said I pretty much told him who I was the first night, he said he thought I may have been trying to scare him off.....lol I found that funny! So as I was saying I am me, but we all know men change things up often and put their best foot forward in the beginning then as time moves on and newness wears off, things to women seems to become more obvious whether or not we can live, tolerate, and or deal with the man he really is.....ok to be fair women do this also the whole bait and switch of the person you think the other person wants.

So after two failed marriages I know this one is the real one and it will prevail through thick and thin and  so on and so forth...This doesn't mean I'm not going to bitch about it when I'm not happy with a situation, I am a woman!

So if you recall any of my previous post including the one about the man of steel, you know many things get in the way of sex! Apparently I broke something! No I'm not abusing appendages this time, I mean something is broke and I don't know what?

What's more frustrating a woman who says "nothing" when asked what's wrong? or a man?
How about asking what is the problem, and the response being I don't know! What's broken? How do we fix this if no one is talking. You would think I would be the one not talking right? saying nothing is wrong and I don't know....This is what men complain about right? Us not talking or avoiding the conversations with statements of "I don't know" and "Nothing"!  And then bottling it up to boil over time to explode at a later date! Yes I admit I have done this a time or two, but not this time! It wasn't me! However my husband has these issues which I found out on our honeymoon !

Time to get to the bottom of things
Problem: we have been married two months and have had sex about four(4) times since returning  from our honeymoon!
Solution: have sex!

Seems pretty simple right?
Apparently not so much!

Plan B
Problem: no sex and no one is talking about it.
Solution: Talk about it and get to it!

Plan C
Problem: no sex, no problems and nothing is wrong and he doesn't know.
Solution: TALK!

Plan E
Problem: 2am have to be at work at 7 am and still up trying to drag out the problem.
Solution: stop talking and have sex :)

FYI(yes I purposely skipped D and F, because D(divorce) is not a plan or an option and neither is F(failure).

Plan G
Problem: that solved one issue...Sex was great as always, so why are we not having it everyday?
Answer? I don't know!
Solution: sleep on it and regroup, I'm exhausted and need sleep.

Plan H
Problem: no sex in a newly wed couple, is NOT normal!
Solution: SEX! Operation Sex Drive is now activated! Now to implement the necessary plans to get the bottom of the missing sex drive of my husband!

Just ranting, but open to any suggestions!

My Engagement :)

So a lot has happened since my last entry. First I got
engaged in June to the most wonderful and amazing man I have ever met. I have
never been in love till now. My family keeps telling me that they have never
seen me this happy and telling my fiancé that they have never seen me in love.
So now, here come all the details.

We went on a family vacation to the beach back in June, with
our children. Apparently our kids don’t love the beach as much as we do; they
were not pleased that we got to spend 11 days at the beach. They were ready to
go home after they 4th day.

On our sixth month
mark he got down on one knee on the beach at sunset and ….forgot what he wanted
to say…lol apparently he was extremely nervous! It was so cute, so before he
could even get a word out of his mouth I was screaming YES-YES-YES, and he
informed me I couldn’t answer the question before he asked it…
. Happily engaged, we enjoyed the rest of our vacation.

Upon returning from vacation a newly engaged couple we
decided that living an hour apart in different states wasn’t going to work out
for us, we decided to buy a house and move in together. So him as his daughter
moved in first, then my youngest son and I moved in a few weeks later.

MANHOODS BEWARE

I have to admit I'm not the safest person to have around appendages. Not even my own are safe, you all know this because I told you in a previous blog post about my painful nipple incident.
I think I may have committed the ultimate crime upon a penis....well not really I do believe that Lorena Bobbitt owns that prestigious and utmost crazy title!

So let me begin by saying there was no predetermined malicious thoughts to harming my man's manhood, it was strictly a horrible accident! Here's the series of unfortunate events of that night that will and should make every man reading this cringe.

D and I were making love and as we do on often occasions, switching positions from missionary to doggy style. Once we got situated and we were getting rather loud and into it I decided to reach down from underneath to touch myself. I do that quite often so I didn't realize the harm in it this time around. D was sliding in and out as I was touching myself and we were getting louder and faster, and louder and faster to the point of climax when tragedy struck!

D's manhood slipped out on his way back and on his rebound forward he simultaneously but instantly missed and instead of finding my wet warm spot he "sliced" his manhood across my very long but real fingernails! Yes, one of my fingernails was in the direct line of a speeding, rebounding penis!

Needless to say our rather hot and passionate moment was instantly over in that slice! There was a gashed opening from the head of his penis about an inch and half long down his shaft, gushing blood all over the place. Once we got the bleeding to stop and we disinfected the area, I was horrified that I had unintended maliciously mangled one of my mans body parts! :( I felt and feel so very bad about harming his manhood!

We were out of commission for about a week while he healed and disinfected the area leaving a scar of our unintended malicious mishap of that day!

Once all healed up and ready for some fun my man ready to get back into action, pulled me into the tanning bed room at our local gym! Yes the most germ filled place in the world, a gym! We had sex inside the stand up tanning bed before our workout that day!

That Little Bastard Cupid

D is amazing, almost surreal. He is 35 and will be 36 on Thursday. He is in good shape and loves life. He use to be a soccer player, a ballroom dance instructor, and he still surfs! He is educated, smart, funny, and very sexy! He is a single dad of a ten year old daughter that he has had full custody of since his divorce 9 years ago. He has a great job and a truck. I swear I couldn't have dreamed him up any better..cheesy huh!

I know already....I am being the cheesiest person ever about this man and the great thing is he is doing the same thing at the same time!

I always said "no one feels the same way you feel about them at the same time" ,well if I was right, please do NOT wake me or pinch me!

Usually at this point in a new relationship if the man brought up the relationship talk I would be running, not walking, but in a full blown run in the opposite direction. So why am I not running from this man? We have had a few conversations about us being exclusive and it doesn't frighten me at all.....I'm serious I am a commitment phobia person!

There is something that is so right about this man! I have not seen not one flag! Usually by now I've found 20 or so things I'm not sure about, that I have to ponder over, or just plain can't get over either way I am usually one foot,or both feet out the door by now!

So this week, face to face we are having the relationship/commitment conversation and I'm smiling about it! What the hell is wrong with me!

I was perfectly happy being single, I love the single life! So why can I not see myself without this man now! I think that little bastard cupid snuck up behind us while we were too busy staring at each other and shot us with those damn tiny arrows of his!

I Can't Stop Smiling!

I literally can't stop smiling! I am generally a smiley person, but this week has been wonderful! I have been talking to D.

We went on a nice dinner date on Tuesday night where we literally couldn't stop talking, touching, or smiling. In fact we sat there in the restaurant till the staff had put up all the chairs and the manager came out to politely tell us that we didn't have to go home but we couldn't stay there...lol

What the hell has come over me! Let me start by saying first this week started off like this....for the first time in over 5 years I turned T down for sex! OMG I didn't even think about it I just did it, I told him no.

Then after the dinner and conversation on Tuesday he asked if I'd like to have dinner with his parents next week for his birthday (which I have already gotten him a gift for..shhhh)! I didn't even hesitate to say yes I would love to.

What the hell has gotten into me...I think I have been possessed by some giddy smiley teenager!

Then he says "want to take the kids to dinner and a movie this week?". Again I said yes!

So tonight we met at dinner with my 12 year old son and his 10 year daughter. We had a nice dinner and everyone got along great. Then we went to the theater to see the new Disney movie Tangled, which was great! After the movies we stopped by the game room for the kids to play arcade games and where we played a game of air hockey and he beat me badly, only because I couldn't stop laughing! (OK he beat me fairly lol) .

After the dinner and a movie and games, his daughter and I decided that we should all go for ice cream. Secretly it was my plan to offer it so that I could spend more time with him :) OMG what is wrong with me! So we all go get ice cream (which totally screwed up my week I spent at the gym this week ....lol) and sit for another 45 minutes laughing and talking.

Unfortunately both the kids have to go to school in the morning, so being the responsible parents we are, we called it a night!

Wow, I can't recall ever feeling this way this fast about anyone, especially anyone that returned the feelings. I only remember having this feeling for T after our first date over 5 years ago and he quickly shot it down! I am totally in unmarked territory! I am freaking out! I haven't even had sex with him yet! I don't want to screw this up! I screw everything up!

Why now?
Why him?
I wasn't looking!
I was happy being single!
OMG!
Someone stop me from smiling my cheeks hurt!

The Non-Commital Man

CL came to see me the other day. He is a smart , is cute, healthy, and a funny college educated man. Never married, has one daughter who is 18 years old. Has a good job and a home and several rental properties. I met him several years ago on Match.com and we seem to get along great!
We have dated off and on over the years. Nothing serious and nothing permanent yet we seem to always circle back around to each other. We have fun together. Our kids get along together. And we have a great chemistry that grew on me. Yes I'm serious, it grew on me. When I first met him I liked him but didn't let him close to me at all.
We went several years of off and on again before we decided that we would move to the next level of become sexually involved with each other. And to me, a complete surprise that we had chemistry that was undeniable.

So the dilemma now is what to do next? Of course he has commitment phobia. He is 43 and never married, so I suppose this is why I am attracted to him. The non-committal man that seems perfect is always unavailable either he is married, gay, or a player. However I don't consider him a player . Can you be non-committal and not be a player? Can something that has went on so long as a non-committal relationship ever work as a committed one?

Chasing Those That Run!

I have a theory about why we tend to chase those that run and run from those that chase... I think it's about respect. It's hard to respect someone that is willing to promise you the moon right out of the chute, no matter how great they are.


So this is about me chasing a man ever since we went to high school together. So here goes, T is the one I want and I have always had a great crush on him! B is the man that loved me unconditionally that I just couldn't love back in return the way he loved me! Both are pretty good guys (even if B does sound a little passive... since he chased me for 7 years....I mean 7 years and no sex? was he not trying or was I not attracted to him?) Neither I was attracted to him I just didn't love him the way he loved me. Probably because I was chasing T.

I honestly believe a woman needs to respect a guy to be really attracted to him... B may have been great in every other way but that one (like someone else I know ) He just isn't willing to tell you when you're being a pain in the ass and that's a problem.

T is and has always been afraid to commit and afraid to be alone, maybe just waiting him out and letting him make a decision is the way to go. Do you think he honestly has real feelings for me, or am I just someone who is convenient for him? Not everyone has the ability to feel for other people very deeply, so I wonder if he's ever going to be able to give me what I want from him.


I did enjoy both as the person they are and I'm glad I kept in touch with them after things sort of fell apart. I don't know why I got the way I did with them, I know I wasn't being very rational but I guess that's what happens when you let your emotions rule over reason. I'm better for it, but I am a little embarrassed by the way I acted toward both.. like I was obsessed or something with T and running from B. (it's not something I deal with very often )

I still have a friendship with B. I also am still in contact with T. I have passed up too many relationships in hope that T will one day get his head on straight and realize that he loves me! lol .... OK not that naive, but I do secretly crave his love. He only calls me for sex and we have an amazing chemistry that I can't resist or explain why I can't ever tell him "NO"! Ugh If only he I could erase his presence in my mind and heart!.