Thursday, September 16, 2010
Chasing Those That Run!
I have a theory about why we tend to chase those that run and run from those that chase... I think it's about respect. It's hard to respect someone that is willing to promise you the moon right out of the chute, no matter how great they are.
So this is about me chasing a man ever since we went to high school together. So here goes, T is the one I want and I have always had a great crush on him! B is the man that loved me unconditionally that I just couldn't love back in return the way he loved me! Both are pretty good guys (even if B does sound a little passive... since he chased me for 7 years....I mean 7 years and no sex? was he not trying or was I not attracted to him?) Neither I was attracted to him I just didn't love him the way he loved me. Probably because I was chasing T.
I honestly believe a woman needs to respect a guy to be really attracted to him... B may have been great in every other way but that one (like someone else I know ) He just isn't willing to tell you when you're being a pain in the ass and that's a problem.
T is and has always been afraid to commit and afraid to be alone, maybe just waiting him out and letting him make a decision is the way to go. Do you think he honestly has real feelings for me, or am I just someone who is convenient for him? Not everyone has the ability to feel for other people very deeply, so I wonder if he's ever going to be able to give me what I want from him.
I did enjoy both as the person they are and I'm glad I kept in touch with them after things sort of fell apart. I don't know why I got the way I did with them, I know I wasn't being very rational but I guess that's what happens when you let your emotions rule over reason. I'm better for it, but I am a little embarrassed by the way I acted toward both.. like I was obsessed or something with T and running from B. (it's not something I deal with very often )
I still have a friendship with B. I also am still in contact with T. I have passed up too many relationships in hope that T will one day get his head on straight and realize that he loves me! lol .... OK not that naive, but I do secretly crave his love. He only calls me for sex and we have an amazing chemistry that I can't resist or explain why I can't ever tell him "NO"! Ugh If only he I could erase his presence in my mind and heart!.