Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Non-Commital Man

CL came to see me the other day. He is a smart , is cute, healthy, and a funny college educated man. Never married, has one daughter who is 18 years old. Has a good job and a home and several rental properties. I met him several years ago on and we seem to get along great!
We have dated off and on over the years. Nothing serious and nothing permanent yet we seem to always circle back around to each other. We have fun together. Our kids get along together. And we have a great chemistry that grew on me. Yes I'm serious, it grew on me. When I first met him I liked him but didn't let him close to me at all.
We went several years of off and on again before we decided that we would move to the next level of become sexually involved with each other. And to me, a complete surprise that we had chemistry that was undeniable.

So the dilemma now is what to do next? Of course he has commitment phobia. He is 43 and never married, so I suppose this is why I am attracted to him. The non-committal man that seems perfect is always unavailable either he is married, gay, or a player. However I don't consider him a player . Can you be non-committal and not be a player? Can something that has went on so long as a non-committal relationship ever work as a committed one?


  1. I think you can be commitment phobic and not be a player. There is a difference between hesitating to commit and playing the field. If he is "with" you for all intents and purposes and not dating 4 other women at the same time...then he isn't a player. Just because he doesn't want to label the relationship doesn't mean he's a player. Then again I don't know a lot about the guy. Sounds like you guys have been circling each other for a reason though. If there is attraction, chemistry, and respect for each other...sounds like you have a good thing that may be worth looking into further.

  2. Ya we keep circling each other like vultures lmao! He is a great guy but when he steps closer I run and when I step closer he runs! It's like a mutual unspoken agreement!

  3. I think you're both commit-o-phobes, and that sort of makes you perfect for each other. Either you will be mutually agree to keep the ends un-tied or you will both eventually find a reason so stop circling. He sounds nice long as he's not hiding something like a sick habit, a conviction or another woman lol!

  4. I think we are just too alike maybe! I don't know if it's meant to be then I'm sure it will be eventually, until then I will continue on with my beautiful and most fun single self! lol

  5. Ah, the commitment phobic...yep, knew one of those...of course, he surprised all, but that's another story. :/ Fear of commitment is normal to some extent, I think. I totally think someone can be afraid of commitment, yet not be a player--I think they operate differently, as well. It's clear you two have fun with one another, and who knows where it will lead. :)