Olympic Gold Winning, Ice Cream Eating, and Peaches Sex!

A while back I posted a blog about naughty thoughts and invited everyone to send me their naughty thoughts anonymously and I finally got one . I am totally excited to share with my fellow bloggers a mans naughty thoughts. 

Men as we know are wired different. Therefore their fantasies are a wee bit different and possible twisted in the opposite direction. With that being said, I am posting a fantasy that was emailed to me from a man to put on my naughty list. We will refer to him as N. I found his fantasy quite interesting and intriguing , I hope you all enjoy a little naughty thoughts from a mans view.

Slamming you up against the wall biting your neck while I tear your panties off of you. Take my other hand an hold both your wrists up against the wall as I pat you down for weapons an wetness ....I run my hand down your thighs and up against your swollen and hard clit, siding my fingers through your wetness, as my finger runs through your wet lips I look into your eyes with passion and fire and I slowly go down and put your legs on my shoulders as I shove your pussy up into my watering mouth and I lick and suck your clit...I feel it pulsating in my mouth and swelling with excitement ...I suck, lick, suck , lick, lick spreading your pussy lips with my tongue and going inside and tongue fucking your juicy sweet pussy ...juices are everywhere ...my mouth and face covered in you as I go back for more.....

 You're clawing my head forcing me to get a face full of Vitamin E (My name, lol). I can't stop tasting you, as you taste sooooo damn good. It's like the sweet nectar from a peach, with all the juices in my mouth from you. I step back and admire my work for a minute as your dripping and soaked lips are just quivering and shaking. You have sweat dripping down your brow unto your nose and down your face it rolls.

You look at me really angry and say EAT YOUR FUCKING LUNCH NOW!!!! I say YES MAAM. I grip your ass with my big hands and go back to work on you like a kid eating a ice cream. I glance as you bite your lip, your start shaking and pulsating as you scream loud OH MOTHERFUCKER OH SHIT OH OH OH OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........

You drop and start breathing heavy saying yes, yes, yessssssssssssssssssssssssss that's what I have needed for the last 5 years. oh baby, its yours!!! Thank you thank you for clearing all that cum that was up inside of me that needed to be released. I look at you and laugh and say "OH YOU'RE NOT DONE YET!. I bend you over and commence to pounding your sweet soaking pussy, POUND POUND POUND as your ass cheeks clap together from me fucking you from behind. you screaming trying to catch your breath saying oh my god...yes yes yes.

 I stop and look at you and say, I DIDN'T TELL YOU, YOU COULD SPEAK, now you have to suck on my black cock, and you start sucking on it like your going for the gold in the Olympics. I stop you before you make me cum and I start fucking you again. but you enjoyed the taste of my dick in your mouth that you start talking again. so once again I make you suck on it and obey your master, but you keep on talking, so I take the head of my dick and slowly penetrate your ass and u tense up and I say if you don't be a good girl I'm gone pound this hole next. you say yes daddy. I go back to fucking your pussy and I can feel you tense and squeezing my cock as I thrust one last time and explode all in you........

Now that is some serious passion! Thank you N for your open and honest naughty thoughts. 

Got Naughty?

While naked in the shower the other day I was thinking I should start a naughty list….

No not an actual list, but instead a naughty guest blog list. I know everyone has a naughty side. I know some more than others, however not everyone has an anonymous blog. So I know that if your family and friends are on your blog, you probably don’t really say what you want all the time.

 Therefore I thought that I should host a naughty list for guest bloggers to post their naughty stories anonymously on my blog.

So here goes…. think of your naughtiest stories, fantasy or reality and email them to me at theanonymousperilsofassw75@yahoo.com make sure to think of an anonymous signature as well and sign your work or I will make one up for you  ……

I will not out you. I will not reveal any information except your blog post. I do not need any personal info just send me any naughty thoughts you have and I’ll post them anonymously as your naughty outlet, on my naughty list!

NO RULES just two suggestions:

1. Make sure you sign your work or I will make up a signature for you.

2. Make sure you spell check your work. I will NOT edit your work.

Let the naughtiness begin!

Where Did Passion Go?

I'm sitting in my bed with my husband's laptop blogging naked while he is at work. I often do this while he is at home and upstairs watching movies or playing an online game, trying to wait me out and make sure I'm asleep before he comes downstairs for fear that I'll want sex! This has been a regular occurrence since we he has gained a few extra pounds that he isn't use to having.

Ok I get it, he doesn't feel sexy...and he doesn't like the extra weight he has acquired in the last six months, but who does...That by no means,  means that his wife doesn't find him sexy and irresistible!

I'm all for naked! I'm all for hair-pulling push me up against a wall and have your way with me sex! He is the only man I know that would complain about his wife always wanting to get him naked and get frustrated for even mentioning sex to him.  So I really should not have told him the about the texting my and my BFF were texting but he asked and I told him the truth. He was not at all thrilled that I was discussing our sex life lack of a sex life with anyone, however if he isn't willing to talk about it I only have two options..one being my BFF and the other is blogging about it.

Anyway she sent me a picture of this man laying beside his wife sleeping with a caption over his head that said....I thought we were going to have sex..I could be on the Internet right now!

I responded with, my husband does the opposite..he stays on the Internet until he is sure I'm asleep.

She responded "Oh poor D, he has a wife that is sex crazy. I'm sure he wouldn't complain to his buddy's about it"

in which I laughed and responded not a chance. This is when he walked in and asked my what was so funny and I showed him the texts.....He was not happy!

Why is he so disheveled about his weight , and why doesn't he do something about it instead of shunning his wife in the bedroom because he has body issues? I thought only women had these kind of issues.
I know a little that was a little stereotyping comment..sorry ladies, but it's true , that is what I thought.

I want my passionate husband back! I want the man that I texted one day last spring right after he left for work and said "come back I miss you" and he sent back "what would you want me to do if I did come back" and I responded in detail what I would want him to do to me and within twenty minutes he was back in our driveway fulfilling my every wish of pushing my up against the bedroom wall stripping my of every inch on clothing and having his way with me! :)   ! That is the man I want back in my presence please!

I'm tired of my fingers smelling like my vagina!

Don't get me wrong I like the smell of my vaja-ja and I even like to masturbate, however it gets really old really quick, if that's all that's going on down there. So me and my tens fingers went shopping today. Yes, to the adult toy store down the road.

I so happened to pick the perfect day to go shopping in the adult toy store, there was a sale happening! lol Who knew they have things on sale in the erotica toy business? So anyway I have been in this store before and I wasn't impressed before so why would I have a different experience alone? Well we will just say I was in desperate need of some attention down there and I didn't have the time nor money to drive to the big city to get it.

So this little  lingerie shop with toys a mile from my house was perfect. All except it is owned by a very large and in charge married couple that are rude and not happy ever! I wonder why they own this little shop in the first place. They literally have "do not " do this and "do not" do that signs all over the place even before you walk into the place and don't attempt to answer your phone in there or even think about reaching for your phone, they will tackle you and warn you, that NO pictures are allowed in this place. And they aren't nice about it!

 For example as I'm checking out the lady says, this isn't the one I told you that it was 19.99 this one is 24.99....ok I know I read the sticker......are you sure you don't want the other one.....yes I'm sure, thank you though......well this one comes with a FREE penis shaped sleeve, would you like to pick one out to go with your purchase.....No thank you......Maybe you didn't hear me, I said they are FREE!.....No thank you I said......Well they come with this purchase all you have to do is pick one out it's free! ......NO Thank you! ........I don't think you understood me I said it's free!.....I finally said I completely understand you, I can read and speak english and I do not want a penis shaped sleeve to go over my silver bullet, it is more of an inconvience, it would be something else I have to hide and clean, so again NO THANK YOU!............Really people!

Anyway back to my fingers, they are tired and I am tired for them. So I thought I'd get me a new silver bullet . Seemed quite harmless to include a silver bullet into my newly wed relationship. Well to me it was, but not so much  to my husband, I might as well bought the biggest dildo in there and brought it home. Anyway, I didn't I bought a small little multi-speed dial silver bullet. Which I paid cash for because my bank nor the bank statement needs to reflect an incorrect opinion of my purchase or leave the imagination to the spectators. However I did stuff it to store it in an old checks box. How ironic, that if a thief breaks in and goes through my night stand to find things , that a box of checks might not be exactly what they might had in mind when they open it....lol

I came straight home opened it, washed it and began using.!  It was glorious! I haven't cummed so hard and so many times in a few weeks and I needed the release before I go insane. The little intense vibrating bullet , that really looks more like a missile is so very intense. It literally takes less than a minute to bring me to full blown and leg shaking organisms. I literally use to keep one in the glove box of my car for those occasions when you get  stuck in traffic. It made it a lot more fun. :)

So it has been about two years since I had my last toy and I don't know why I haven't replaced it sooner, but I intend on making sure I get my money's worth out of my newly bought silver friend, I would even let my husband tease me with it if he wasn't so offended that I purchased it.

Wedding Night Bliss?

This blog post is what I'm going to coin as a pg/r/pg rated blogwich (like a sandwich, meaning the first part is pg and the middle is rated R and it ends pg) :)

Our wedding was wonderful, it was a beautiful ceremony with our closest family and friends. We had 35 or so guests and my dress was awesome. It was what I always thought it would be as a little girl! :)

Friends and family had a great time. Ceremony started at 6:30pm so we had the entire day to prepare. Hair, makeup, dress, tuxes and rental car check. One sick vomiting kid...ugh and he was mine, but it was from all the candy he had eaten all day and all the cokes he wasn't use to having. He was better once my sister who is a nurse took him home and fed him chicken soup. Wedding went quick and it was lots of fun, then came the honeymoon!

Let me start by saying letting your new husband of two hours carry all the money , might have some hiccups in the situation sooner rather than later.

We got all settled in our rental car for our trip to Atlanta to catch the early flight out to the Dominican Republic for 7 days. Got about 20 miles down the road and realized we had no luggage, it was still in my car, that my sister took with her. Luckily we caught her and she met us to get our luggage. It was now midnight!

We had a wonderful trip to Atlanta checked into our hotel and he quickly grabbed me and peeled off over my head the sun dress I had replaced my wedding dress with to reveal my white lace corset with matching strings thongs, which didn't stay on long as it quite quickly hit the floor and I was lowered to the bed, he began to kiss me softly on my lips as he made his way across to my ear and down my neck kissing every inch of skin to where his hands were cupping my breasts tenderly massaging my nipples to make them firmly stand at attention till his lips and tongue could reach them.

Slowly his hands released my breast and began a smooth slither down my ribs, then down my waist to my hips to let his mouth take over my nipples. As he was making sure to give each of my breast ample attention with his tongue his hand was now cupping my womanness taking in the heat that being emitted and was rising and forming a wetness. My little white lacy panties were maneuvered to the side as he gently took the tip of one finger and dipped it slightly into my pussy to dampen it and to feel the moisture and heat rise while slowly moving up to find my clit which was then starving for some attention. The first touch sent shivers up my entire body, he continued  manipulating my clit to maximum alertness . Moving his mouth up to mine we passionately kissed while he slid my panties off and got his shirt and pants off to reveal his solid manhood. My wet desiring mouth made it slowly down his body to engulf his manhood into it feeling it's heat fill my mouth while my tongue lapped  up the dipping wetness of him, he was begging to be inside me, I slowly went back up and we met in the middle as his hardness found my wetness for some slipping in and out fun, feeling the heat and dripping wetness down my thighs onto the bed while I was firmly but gently with force holding on  to his back with my nails dug in panting to the rhythm of his thrusts till our climaxes collided in a hot wet moment of throbbing greatness and he collapsed on the bed beside me.

By this time it's 2:45 in the morning and making sure we had our things together we gather our melted bodies up to make sure our luggage and carry ones were all packed appropriately to quickly realize that we have NO money! Yes my newly acquired god of love making had left all our money in his tux pocket in which my sister who lives in northern Georgia so graciously volunteered to return the next day for us. So she had it more than 2 hours away and it was t-5 hours till take off to our honeymoon. So I called my sister who again graciously met us half way with our money but by this time my husband was asleep in the passenger seat and I drove there and back so at around 6 am I finally get into bed to wake up two hours later frantically trying to get our things together and get to the airport before take off, and foolishly forgetting that we hadn't stopped for gas to top off the rental car at 6 in the morning only for the rental company to charge an extra $110 for a half tank of gas! Note: do not ever return a rental car without topping off the gas tank first!

We happily and thankfully made it to our flight and safely to our all inclusive honeymoon suite for a week of wedded bliss in the beautiful Dominican Republic by 2 pm.......to be continued with pics on another post for another day. :)

Operation Sex Drive!

I'm not sure how I got so far behind on my blogging. It's been a year since I blogged and I've missed it, however I just couldn't gather the motivation for sitting at the computer and typing things out. I've had plenty of things to say and plenty of time to say it in, I just didn't do it. It's like I lost my Mo-Jo! I seem to have that effect on things.

So a whole year! Wow I have a lot of catching up to type about, don't I?

Ok so last year I got engaged, we bought a house and against better judgement of family we moved in together. Things went as expected! Living with someone makes everyone make adjustments in living, breathing, thinking, eating, crying, laughing, loving, and any other daily activities anyone could possibly think of. Yes it's true, however I do always stay the same person. I have never tried to be someone else or make the man I'm dating think I was anything but me.

Even my husband (yes it's official I did get married), said I pretty much told him who I was the first night, he said he thought I may have been trying to scare him off.....lol I found that funny! So as I was saying I am me, but we all know men change things up often and put their best foot forward in the beginning then as time moves on and newness wears off, things to women seems to become more obvious whether or not we can live, tolerate, and or deal with the man he really is.....ok to be fair women do this also the whole bait and switch of the person you think the other person wants.

So after two failed marriages I know this one is the real one and it will prevail through thick and thin and  so on and so forth...This doesn't mean I'm not going to bitch about it when I'm not happy with a situation, I am a woman!

So if you recall any of my previous post including the one about the man of steel, you know many things get in the way of sex! Apparently I broke something! No I'm not abusing appendages this time, I mean something is broke and I don't know what?

What's more frustrating a woman who says "nothing" when asked what's wrong? or a man?
How about asking what is the problem, and the response being I don't know! What's broken? How do we fix this if no one is talking. You would think I would be the one not talking right? saying nothing is wrong and I don't know....This is what men complain about right? Us not talking or avoiding the conversations with statements of "I don't know" and "Nothing"!  And then bottling it up to boil over time to explode at a later date! Yes I admit I have done this a time or two, but not this time! It wasn't me! However my husband has these issues which I found out on our honeymoon !

Time to get to the bottom of things
Problem: we have been married two months and have had sex about four(4) times since returning  from our honeymoon!
Solution: have sex!

Seems pretty simple right?
Apparently not so much!

Plan B
Problem: no sex and no one is talking about it.
Solution: Talk about it and get to it!

Plan C
Problem: no sex, no problems and nothing is wrong and he doesn't know.
Solution: TALK!

Plan E
Problem: 2am have to be at work at 7 am and still up trying to drag out the problem.
Solution: stop talking and have sex :)

FYI(yes I purposely skipped D and F, because D(divorce) is not a plan or an option and neither is F(failure).

Plan G
Problem: that solved one issue...Sex was great as always, so why are we not having it everyday?
Answer? I don't know!
Solution: sleep on it and regroup, I'm exhausted and need sleep.

Plan H
Problem: no sex in a newly wed couple, is NOT normal!
Solution: SEX! Operation Sex Drive is now activated! Now to implement the necessary plans to get the bottom of the missing sex drive of my husband!

Just ranting, but open to any suggestions!

MANHOODS BEWARE

I have to admit I'm not the safest person to have around appendages. Not even my own are safe, you all know this because I told you in a previous blog post about my painful nipple incident.
I think I may have committed the ultimate crime upon a penis....well not really I do believe that Lorena Bobbitt owns that prestigious and utmost crazy title!

So let me begin by saying there was no predetermined malicious thoughts to harming my man's manhood, it was strictly a horrible accident! Here's the series of unfortunate events of that night that will and should make every man reading this cringe.

D and I were making love and as we do on often occasions, switching positions from missionary to doggy style. Once we got situated and we were getting rather loud and into it I decided to reach down from underneath to touch myself. I do that quite often so I didn't realize the harm in it this time around. D was sliding in and out as I was touching myself and we were getting louder and faster, and louder and faster to the point of climax when tragedy struck!

D's manhood slipped out on his way back and on his rebound forward he simultaneously but instantly missed and instead of finding my wet warm spot he "sliced" his manhood across my very long but real fingernails! Yes, one of my fingernails was in the direct line of a speeding, rebounding penis!

Needless to say our rather hot and passionate moment was instantly over in that slice! There was a gashed opening from the head of his penis about an inch and half long down his shaft, gushing blood all over the place. Once we got the bleeding to stop and we disinfected the area, I was horrified that I had unintended maliciously mangled one of my mans body parts! :( I felt and feel so very bad about harming his manhood!

We were out of commission for about a week while he healed and disinfected the area leaving a scar of our unintended malicious mishap of that day!

Once all healed up and ready for some fun my man ready to get back into action, pulled me into the tanning bed room at our local gym! Yes the most germ filled place in the world, a gym! We had sex inside the stand up tanning bed before our workout that day!

My No Special Occasion Night

There was no special occasion last night, but it was such a wonderfully special night! D called and wanted to know if I could come over after work and of course I said YES!

On my way over there he texted me to say "when you get here there is a surprise on the door, take it off and go back to your car then call me form the car". So I drove over after work and taped to the door of his home was a card that was perfect and sweet and just fit us, I did as instructed and read it in the car. Then called and him and he met me at the door.

He opened the door and looked so damn yummy, I wanted to attack him right that second. He was wearing his new birthday shirt I had bought him and the entire place was lit by candle light. I swear there were 30 or more candles in his place, it was so damn romantic!

He said have a seat on the floor, he had set out a nice candle light setting on the coffee table and so I sat down as he served me spaghetti and meatballs with salad and garlic bread. Before he sat down he pressed play on the dvd player and guess what was playing....Lady and The Tramp! Yes see how romantic and cheesy he is! GOD I love him!

We ate by candle light and watched the ever so cutesy movie! Then as he cleaned up I went to shower. When I got out of the shower he had the bed room lit by candles and asked me to lay across the bed naked and proceeded to give me a full body massage from my head to my toes. He lotioned every inch of my body with his hands. All the way down to my toes and across to every one of my fingers.

I was so damn relaxed when he got finished with my full body massage I sat up and laid him back down as I kissed him from head to toe. Making sure to show special attention to his manhood. Wrapping my lips around his hardness, sliding my lips down his shaft, engulfing him and feeling his heat on my tongue. As he was moaning with pleasure while I was licking and sucking his every inch of manhood, he said please let me inside you, please, please.......

So we changed positions as he is looking into my eyes telling me how beautiful I am and how sexy I am. I couldn't describe to you how very sexy and hot and desirable he is to me. I thought as I felt him enter into my wetness that I would explode that very second, it took my breath away. I could feel his every inch as he was getting into a rhythm and getting faster with every stroke. I felt his sweat dripping slowly down his chest on to mine and we were sliding across each others body in a beautiful rhythmic motion till we both are breathing so deeply trying to catch our breaths till point of climax over whelmed us both into motionless heaps of hot sweaty bodies breathing so hard that you could see our chests rising and hear our heart pounding in our heads.

I am so in love with this man! We have awesome passion and love and lust and desire!

I Love Him!

I have the most amazing week ever! Thursday was D's birthday, so after dropping my youngest off at school I drove to his place. He lives 55 miles from me in another state, but so worth the drive!
I showed up with gift bag in hand. I bought him a button down Alabama embroidered dress shirt and five packs of gum (he quit dipping 10 days ago), and of course a nice sweet birthday day card. He opened his gift and was delighted that I had gotten him something. So still nervous about moving this relationship to the next level, I straddled him on the couch and began kissing him. Then suggested that we head upstairs and he show me his bedroom. That was the first day I had ever been to his place, every other time he had drove to see me. So yes we went upstairs and undressed each other, and revealed our passion for each other. It was amazing!

We then got up and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast with the biggest, sweetest smiles on our faces ever! After breakfast we drove by the Harley dealership to window shop and just walk around holding hands. (are you rolling your eyes yet?) We then left there and walked around the mall hand in hand with the biggest smiles on our faces! I am so in love with this man!

Back at his place we took a short nap then more awesome sex, then a shower, before his daughter got off the bus from school. We then all went out to dinner, where he told me I had given him the best birthday ever and that he loves me and couldn't see his life without me! I wanted to melt right there! (I bet your rolling your eyes now..lol)....Yes I am smitten, and so in love with this man. I never knew I could love someone this much!

So this is going to have to be two blog posts because you couldn't have imagined the night I had last night with D! To Be Continued...........

The Taste Of A Man

I want to tell you about my love for the taste of a man. How I love to savor his scent and texture. How I love to lick, suck, engulf, and wrap my lips and tongue about his manhood.

Yes I love to give oral sex to a man. I love to feel him harden with my touch and start throbbing with the warmth of my breath, and become slick with the juices of my mouth!

I love to feel him shift his pelvic while I'm licking him. To feel him lifting himself off the bed to penetrate further into my wet, dripping mouth, that is engulfing his manhood.

I love the sound of his pleasure seeping out of between his lips while moaning how good it feels.

I love to feel my lips wrapped around the tip and licking the head with my moist tongue and slowly engulfing him sliding my lips down his shaft to taste every inch of him. Feeling him throbbing inside my mouth and the heat from his excitement while he is seeping with wetness from fucking my mouth slowly at first then faster and while I'm caressing his jewels and massaging the base for his pleasure.

I love to feel how he stiffens up and is throbbing with excitement telling me that he is about to cum. Until I feel the warmth of his explosion on my tongue while he is having muscles spams and trying to catch his breathe.

Yes, Just the thought of it sends me to a cold shower and I loved it! Don't be alarmed,lol, it happens to me quite often!

I could feel my pussy throbbing and my wetness seeping out through my panties while writing this!

I had to excuse myself and take a shower while the water poured over my body I was touching myself with one finger then two feeling my clit fill and get hard with pleasure . I continued getting faster and the shaking in my legs made me weak as my pussy tightened and spasmed and I cum, while the water washed over me and I stepped back and leaned against the shower wall to balance myself from falling!

My Most Pleasurable Birthday Memory!

I was asked by a friend of mine the other day if I had ever had sex with two men at the same time. My answer was NO, have you? His answer was NO, I was hoping you had so you could tell me about it. What? Just because I'm a sexual person doesn't mean I would have sex with two men at one time. Besides why do my friends try to live through me....

Then I decided to tell him about my birthday a couple years ago. I never had the desire to sleep with two men at the same time. I would think it would be odd for the men? I'm trying to picture what they would be doing and I just can't get it to fit in my brain.


Anyway I had to work on my birthday which is never unusual, since it's not officially been declared a national holiday, yet. While I was sitting in at my desk at my second job, my friend and co-worker asked what I would be doing that evening for my birthday and my response was having sex. Her response was, with B or T.



You see my friend knew my obsession with T and that I was still seeing B as well. So when she said B or T I got this Cheshire cat grin on my face and said BOTH! Her young mind couldn't process that kind of information. With a confused look, she said "what? both?". Yes, I replied both. Then it hit me she thought I meant at the same time. Oh my NO!


You see they knew about each other but they did not like each other, to say it nicely. lol...Yes I did mean they actually knew about each other, they also knew that I was having sex with each of them also, BUT they probably, and hopefully will NEVER know I had sex with them in the same hour of each other.....


Ok cut me some lack...it was MY birthday! I left work after 8.5 hours in a cubicle with no window and called B. I told him I wanted sex as my birthday gift! Of course he was just fine with that, so before getting home he met me on a dead in road in our town.



The road was deserted and turned from pavement to red clay at the end of it. He met me there and we laid down the tailgate of his truck and out in the sexy outdoors under the July summer sunny sky I was bent over his tailgate while we had some great hair pulling ass smacking from behind fucking! It was great!



I left there and it took me five minutes to get home and straight to the shower I went to get washed up and get some clean clothes on. When I got out of the shower I had received a text from T. He wanted to know my plans for the evening and I said well I was hoping to get with him to get some sex for my birthday!

Woohoo....5 minutes later I was over at his place naked and straddling him on the couch, till he flipped me over and I got some more great hair pulling ass smacking from behind fucking! I love it from behind! There is nothing that feeling so damn great!.......ok well maybe being licked into submission but that was already established in another post.

I so enjoyed my birthday that year, and I would love to do it again this year!

Ouch! They Are Attached!

Why do men want to pull on attached items? OK I don't mind a little hair pulling but please for the love of God, please leave my nipples attached!

Yes foreplay is generally great and in the heat of passion things sometimes can get a little rough, however what is attached should remain attached! This obsession that men have with our breasts is great if they are gentle with our appendages. Yes, I said it be nice to our nipples!

You know as well as I do that they are sensitive and a kiss, a lick, a little nibble, and a gentle roll with the tongue or soft fingers is OK however pulling ,tugging, biting, or trying to dismantle our nipples is NOT OK! Capeesh? We are not matchbox cars you can't dismantle our appendages.

Please Please try to control your urges to pull us apart and refrain from causing us screeching pain!

Sex Addiction?

So I was reading my monthly Marie Claire and in this month's magazine is an article named "Just Can't Get Enough, Can Women really be addicted to sex?". I read the entire article word for word. One of the experts compared it to a heroin addiction, chasing after a high and bingeing on our own hormones. WOW....I don't know what to say about that!

Am I an addict? Huh, I don't think so! Let's just figure this out one step at a time.
1. I have sex because I enjoy sex.
2. I have sex because it makes me feel good.
3. I have sex to fulfill an urge I have for it.
4. I have sex because I want to.
5. I have sex because I choose to.
6. Sex doesn't make me feel bad after!

Drug addicts:
1. Take drugs because they enjoy them
2. Take drugs because they make them feel good.
3. Take drugs to fulfill an urge they have.
4. Take drugs because they want to.
5. Take drugs because they choose to.
6. Taking drugs makes them feel bad after!

So one out of twelve makes it a hung jury! Right?

No I'm not a sex addict. I don't put myself in jeopardy looking for sex. I don't have sex with random strangers, I'm not addicted to porn, I don't masturbate obsessively, I don't have a collection of toys. So No I'm not categorizing myself as a sex addict. I'm just a woman who knows what she wants and likes and enjoys sex!

The Great Sexy Outdoors!

I love sex and just about anywhere but outdoors is probably my favorite. You would think I'm one of those people that does the PDA but I'm not really into people watching! I have had outdoor sex a thousand times…ok that may a bit exaggerated. I do love the outdoors and the excitement of outdoor sex. It’s a rush and excitement which is not easily put into words.

I have had sex on police cars, on regular cars, in the woods, on a bluff, on a balcony overlooking the ocean, in a pool while skinny dipping, on the top of a boat in the river, on a hiking trail, on the river walk, at the river park, on a dead end road by the railroad tracks, on the hood of a pick up truck, in the bed of a truck, inside a car in the parking lot, in a bathroom, in a utility closet, in a control room, in a break room, in a hospital room, in a shower, in a hot tub, and in a fire station on the side of a fire truck and I’m sure many more places that I just can’t think of at the moment.

Outside sex is always great. I love being under the sun naked! Feeling the sun touch places it has never kissed before. Feeling the breeze in my hair and the excitement of outdoor sex is always a thrill.




Skinny dipping, which I never understood the name, do only skinny people dip naked? I’ve heard it called chunky dunking, as well, but I’m very average built with very well placed curves so what do I call it? Swimming naked! I love the feel of the cool pool water on my naked body, feeling the sun beam down on all my parts having nothing but the radio on and water wrapping around my body!





There is something so very sexual about being naked outdoors. I love it! I have always wanted to go to a nudist resort on vacation! I’m not sure I would ever go through with it but I would love to attempt it anyway!

I Want Brother Husbands?

Have you seen the new TLC series named "Sister Wives"? I pretty much grew up almost like this but not quite.

My parents were swingers! Yes Swingers! My parents swapped sexual partners all the time on a daily sometimes bi-daily basis depending on the day of the week. Strange? Not to me. I never knew it was odd or that every one's parents wasn't like mine till I was in Middle school.

We had people/couples in our home day and night. We frequently went to the nudist colony/community to see people my parents knew and screwed. So as a child up until I was probably about 11 I seen naked people, people having sex, and always had multiple families in our home.

I think I probably got my sexual appetite honestly from my parents. So here's my proposal if men can have sister wives, why can't I have brother husbands? They could work and take care of me emotionally and financially and I could take care of them in every other way!







Sound absurd? Probably would be crazy but hell I would much rather have a house full of testosterone than estrogen. Only if no children were involved of course, if all the children were grown and gone and it was just me, Hell ya I would so be game to having 3 or four husbands!




No I have never been in a polygamist relationship but looks confusing and fun all at the same time!

I Was Called A Player, MILF, and a Cougar

In one week’s times I have been called a player, MILF, and a cougar. Not all by the same person but still got me thinking “what exacting are these people telling me”!

So, I googled them. Here’s what I found, from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

First the animal definition: A capable stalk-and-ambush predator, the cougar pursues a wide variety of prey. Now this definition definitely describes my sister, not me! Lol

Then further down the page the slang terms showed up: Several English slang terms describe pairings in which one individual is much older than the other:

Let me address these one at a time.

• Cougar—a woman, 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior. The term is also commonly applied to women that are thirty or older.

I have not and will not pursue men (i.e. boy toys and or cubs/tadpoles) younger than me, especially a man eight (8) or more years younger than me. That would mean they would be eight (8) years or less older than my oldest son! OMG that’s just wrong! So please don’t refer to me as a cougar.

• Cub/Tadpole—a younger male who is going out with an older partner, often paired with the term Cougar.

Now this term is fits in with the cougar term quite well, but mentions nothing about the age of the males or how much older is their partner.

• MILF (an acronym of "Mother [or 'Mom'] I'd Like/Love to Fuck")—a sexually desirable older woman, though not necessarily one who has children.

Ok, so I find this term vulgar yet flattering at the same time. I don’t mind someone finding me sexually desirable; however I do find it hard to believe and hard to swallow that they really have to put me in the “older woman” category?

• Puma—a woman in her late twenties and early thirties who dates a younger man (i.e., 20-somethings), often considered a "cougar in training". It also means a cougar whose age disparity is less than eight years.

Puma, now that sounds more like me. Though, I don’t prey on men. I have on occasion been the aggressor towards a man to let him know I’m interested, because as we all know men don’t read minds! Lol

• Toy boy/Boy toy—a much younger boyfriend or husband of an older woman. A toy boy characterizes the one who is (and usually enjoys being) used for sexual gratification.

Why do they not put age specifics on the male terms? Sexist Wikipedia!

My sister called me a “player”! No, not to my face, even worse, to a man that likes me. Yes, she is determined to be my demise on my dating/ single-hood. A man that asked her about me got told “if you’re looking for a relationship move on, she is a player”. Well I asked her about this statement and she said “I just told him that your single and you do what you want, when you want, because there’s no ring on your finger”. That doesn’t classify a player. I don’t string men along promising things. I tell them all up front I’m very happily and extremely single. They can be my friend and see where it goes or they can just go.
I’m still trying to decipher why my sister is sabotaging my single-hood! Maybe she is jealous, maybe she is truly sincere in thinking I would be happier with a husband…lmao Either way maybe I should “steer clear of my sister dear” until she calms down a bit.

I’m No Bendable Barbie?

Why is it that men think when they get you into a sexual position that you automatically become “bendable Barbie”? Seriously?

My legs don’t bend that why, my ankles aren’t made to go up that far and my back doesn’t have a hinge!


I’m pretty sure that all my girlfriends have had this same experience before, but for those of you that haven’t, you’re sure to find this humorous!

I seem to find these men that think that once I’m “lubed” that my parts become bendable! My parts don’t bend in awkward ways or positions! My ankles don’t ever go up past my ears, hell I’m lucky to bend over and tie my shoes on a daily basis. In fact my shoes stayed double knotted and I just slip then on! Seriously! Most the time I’m lucky to see past my boobs much less see my ankles.



What about the splits? Why do they think that if I can’t do the splits in my daily life, where one of my legs go straight out in front of me and the other goes straight out behind me that the fact that I’m void of clothes gives me “super Barbie powers” and my joints become able to bend in unnatural positions! No, I don’t want you to put one of my ankles on your shoulder and try to pound your manhood into me while I’m in extreme pain from my hamstring being stretched beyond repair!

Oh and the other bendable positions that they think we can do is put our head between our legs! No! We can’t breathe or enjoy sex with one of our ankles on your shoulder much less both of our ankles on your shoulders! Seriously, they think that if we could actually put our ankles behind our heads that we would need them putting their body weight on top of us and sweating profusely on us while breathing hard in our face asking us if that feels good?

I just want to say, No, man it doesn’t but if you could just move and if I could reach my tongue that far I’m sure it would feel a lot better, than you having my legs up around my ears, your body weight on me killing me and your sweat dripping in my eyes!



I’m not fat by any means; I am very blessed with curves in right places though. I may have Barbie’s boobs and ass, (that doesn’t mean I’m bendable!) just not her swivel joints nor her bendable rubber legs! I’m not made from any plastic and my joints don’t move like a Barbie nor am I as flexible as I was when I was younger. I enjoy various positions, in various places but I prefer my limbs to stay intact and my joints and muscles not to ache so much that I would consider calling up an orthopaedic surgeon to do some reattachments. Ha ha!

Shapes, Sizes, Colors, and Curves Set Free by Technology!

OK, let me start by saying that men may find naked women attractive and we very well may have "pretty parts"; however male parts aren't attractive! No! No, I'm not into women. I have never been with a woman, but I know we have attractive bodies. :)I have seen my far share of attractive men but lets face it, naked men aren't "main attractions".
Us women don't gather to gaze upon and throw money at men. There aren't naked men at every street corner in strip clubs either. Now don't get me wrong we do enjoy a little "strip tease" from men. Dressed up in "little outfits" gyrating around us with a bit of sexual innuendos; however that doesn't mean we want you to take off the "little outfit" and helicopter your manhood around us! Ewww! Although it is quite humorous it doesn't turn us on!
The site of a naked man isn't a turn on. Now in today's new dawn of technology men seem to think that sending a picture of their dick, is going to get them into our beds?! Really?! Especially a picture of their soft "not hard" but soft hanging manhood! Seriously!
OK, let me clarify a few things: touches, kisses and gestures of even small things are turn on's to women. Not, shall I repeat it! Not hanging or standing pictures of your dick! Yes, I said it, "your dick isn't sexy"!
Now I am a young educated sexual woman and I do thoroughly enjoy sex, the touch, taste, feel, and sensations of a throbbing hardened penis is almost all it takes to get me in the mood. However, looking at it in a picture does absolutely nothing for me!
I have seen all shapes, sizes, colors, and curves of penises and not one of them was a turn on. They weren't pretty, handsome, cute , sexy, nothing just an object in a picture. Now I know men think their "dick" is the grandest thing. I know it is the center of their little world, but it's not ours! Sending a picture of your dick isn't going to get us to sleep with you! No matter how impressed you are with your manhood I promise it's not so impressive to us!
Now on to more advanced technology! A video of you pleasing yourself with one hand and video taping with the other to catch the action and explosion in-which you reach your climax is quite impressive. The action flix and performance are a turn on in some form of my mind and thoughts. :)
Now this blog came about because on my recent birthday I posted on my networking sites that I wanted a sexy picture sent to me via cell phone and lo and behold I was sent all shapes, sizes, colors and curves, of soft hanging, hard standing dicks! I'm serious! Not even one of them was impressive, I do however now have a collection of penises on my computer. ha ha. Not one of them made me want to go masturbate though.
I suppose there is a different set of wiring in a woman's head, or at least in mine.