Got Naughty?

While naked in the shower the other day I was thinking I should start a naughty list….

No not an actual list, but instead a naughty guest blog list. I know everyone has a naughty side. I know some more than others, however not everyone has an anonymous blog. So I know that if your family and friends are on your blog, you probably don’t really say what you want all the time.

 Therefore I thought that I should host a naughty list for guest bloggers to post their naughty stories anonymously on my blog.

So here goes…. think of your naughtiest stories, fantasy or reality and email them to me at theanonymousperilsofassw75@yahoo.com make sure to think of an anonymous signature as well and sign your work or I will make one up for you  ……

I will not out you. I will not reveal any information except your blog post. I do not need any personal info just send me any naughty thoughts you have and I’ll post them anonymously as your naughty outlet, on my naughty list!

NO RULES just two suggestions:

1. Make sure you sign your work or I will make up a signature for you.

2. Make sure you spell check your work. I will NOT edit your work.

Let the naughtiness begin!

Ghost From The Past

Back in May of this year I was going through all my photo albums to find pictures for the slide show at my wedding and came across pictures form when I was in 4 th and 5th grades. I posted them on face book not realizing that ghost from the past would shortly bombard me.

I posted class pictures and my favorite teacher of all time was in them as well. I asked my fellow facebookers if anyone knew the teachers first name so I might look her up and thank her , and so the story started right there. within minutes I facebooked her and was in tears after several short emails and catching up I told her why I looked her up. And here is how it went.

 

Me:

May 10

•  I just want to you to know you meant the world to me. I was a lost little girl who didn't even know I was lost till you came into my life. I know you don't know and didn't know the family dynamic situations of your students, but you still managed to bring light into my life. The personal conversations you had with us girls about our bodies and our personal space was a blessing beyond comprehension! I couldn't even begin to explain how much you mean to me for the teachings you gave me and my fellow students. I tried to type this without crying myself but that didn't happen either. If you care to here my story I will gladly share it with you but for know with out bombarding you , I will just say THANK you with ALL my heart!
• Mrs. S
• ....I am here.......Never feel you will bombard me!

ME:

I was a little overwhelmed earlier but I'm better now. I grew up in an odd family, my parents were swingers and we lived in a nudest colony a good majority of my elementary school years. You were the only adult that I truly trusted for the first time in my life and I know God sent you to help me. Because of the talks you had with the girls in our classes because of the time you gave to me and my girlfriends, it was because of you that my life turned around and became better. Sounds cliche huh....I bet from an outside person it probably does and I've never told this story to anyone but as a child I was molested by my uncle and because of you, I told someone! Because of you I spoke up and it stopped! Nothing happened to him and the people I told never believed me but he stopped after I told.
I could never tell you how much you impacted my life and although you never knew it, you saved my life. Those little moments when you took time to talk to just us girls about our bodies and our personal space changed my life!~ Thank you
Mrs. S
..........First off: I am sorry it took me a day to respond back to you. I went to bed at 10 last night......which I NEVER do, but I have been doing so much here at the end of the school year...and I was so tired. Second: I am working for the American Federation of Teachers out of Maryland for the Common Core activities that will be coming out in the summer. I am editing over 100 spreadsheets for them. I fly out next Friday for the weekend to MD to do a marathon editing for them. Third: I am still wrapping up 19 days left of school with my 2nd graders......which makes me SOOOOO sad to pass them on!
So sweet (my name).......What a trying life experience for a young girl!!! As my principal for 19 years here in Volusia County always said.... "We really DO NOT know where these children are coming from!" In your case.....you were trapped.......but YOU got out! YOU were strong! And it sounds like you are stronger from that HORRIBLE experience. It makes my heart hurt that you had to go through that.........Life is so unfair sometimes!!! I am so proud that you spoke up......and saved yourself. As we get older, we realize that the ONLY one who can help us ......is yourself. As a teacher....you hope and pray that you make a difference in their academic life.....but we know there is more to our profession than that! It is not all ABC and 123! I have always known that God has put me on this Earth to be a teacher and mother. I treat my students like they are my own children......push them, praise them, love them and yes........even cook for them! I LOVE what I do.....and bottom line........I just want to make a difference in every life. I am glad I was there for you.......but, sweet (my name)...... YOU MADE THE DIFFERENCE! YOU STOPPED IT!
I am sooooooo thankful you did!
Sending you love and strength to keep healing and continue a wonderful life! Love, Mrs. S :)
Me:

Thank you so much for your response, to my email. You are truly a gift from God and I'm so glad that he has blessed your life, as he has mine! I'm so proud of you for continuing your career and giving so much of yourself for the youth of our generation! I'm so glad that I have you as a friend and mentor. Good luck and have a safe trip to MD, my father's Italian family are form there, that is where he was born. I hope you enjoy the last few days of school with your 2nd graders. I know they are enjoying you! Thank you again for your response and encouragement. I am blessed to have you in my life again. I hope when I visit Florida again in your area I could take you to lunch or stop by and hi at least.

I'm so happy for you! Thank you Mrs. S! love me

I feel like I had a huge weight lifted off of me after this conversation was finished! I can't say enough about Great teachers! We need more of them!

Crotch Lightening?

Ok so milk does the body good....inside and out right....you know the good for calcium for your bones and good for the skin for moisture? But, your crotch? whoa hold up one minute I had to google this after an incident yesterday....so this is what google gave me http://www.tandurust.com/health-faq/dark-crotch-remedies-and-treatment.html . Apparently you can lighten your crotch with milk! Who knew!

Learn something new everyday!

I would have never guessed that sour milk or buttermilk although they are high in lactic acid would have been proven to lighten skin in your crotch area. However the website states that you can apply sour milk or buttermilk on your crotch for a lighter and better texture on the said area!

So I googled milk crotch because as I thought my day yesterday was going to be fantastic because it started out with breakfast at Panera (which I love). Quite quickly turned into a wet milky crotch for the rest of my day, and work shift for 12 hours! Showering at midnight!

Yes I ordered a bagel and a milk to go. Unfortunately Panera's cups are not the sturdiest cups and the slightest squeeze sends liquid quickly rushing out the top and over spilling for fear of bearing squished after being squeezed and churned and so far the last thing milk wants it to be squeezed in a flimsy plastic cup.

 So I happy order a cinnamon crunch bagel, and a skim milk, graciously thanking the lady at the register and walking out to my car.

I get all settled in my car, put the milk in-between thighs....not my smartest moment....ok then I begin to put my stick shift (my manual transmission) car into reverse and apparently in the process of pressing in the clutch on my car my thighs clenched together and the milk in my little flimsy cup runneth over into my crotch!

Scrambling for napkins or anything at this point to try to dry my scrubs off before reaching the hospital to start my 12 hour shift I managed to spill the rest of my milk in my crotch!

Fortunately, I have no air conditioning in my car so the milk will dry on my scrubs before my 45 min drive to the hospital, However; unfortunately I have no air conditioning in my car so by the time I get to work my crotch with smell of spoiled milk and my scrubs will be dry so it will be an awkward conversation if anyone notices!

So notes to self :
1.ALWAYS use the cup holders located conveniently in the center console of my car.
2. Don't try to drive with a flimsy cup between your thighs.
3. Check to see if this really did lighten my crotch....how would I know? I don't think I've honestly ever thought about the color spectrum in my crotch area! (although my husband told me I had a very nicely colored va-jay-jay and not to be concerned with it) lol
4. Don't try lightening your crotch on the go, it's too messy.

The Abuse of My Nipples!

So last night something funny happened! I thought I was going to pee my pants it was so very funny! I got up out of bed to turn my computer off and when I climbed back into bed over top of D the only part of my body that touched his ribs was my right nipple. The millisecond my nipple touched his ribs a static shock ran from my nipple to his ribs and we both said ouch at the same time then burst into laughter! OMG I swear that was the funniest thing.

So since we are now talking about nipples let me tell you all about the time last summer when I shaved a chunk out of my left nipple! OUCH! NO I don't shave my boobs...lol nor do I shave my chest.

I was at my youngest sister's house and was in the shower and all you ladies know how it is a balancing act to prop one leg up on the edge of the tub while standing in the shower and bending over trying to shave your legs one at a time while standing on one foot.

Ok so I was doing just that when my foot slipped off the side of the tub and my knee jerk reaction sent my hand with my razor up past my knee soaring past my belly button and onto the only appendage sticking out far enough to catch the edge of the razor! Yes my nipple! OUCH I screamed as blood dripped down breast onto the shower floor, but no one heard me. :(

I was in pain but I just had to tell my sister what I had done because I knew she would find it very funny. As she did, and so did my brother in law once we took off to the beach for the day and the salt water from a wave splashed up onto my bathing suit top and seeped right through to the open wound on my left nipple and I screamed in pain! OUCH!

Finding My Happy Blog Medium

I am so at a loss for words for this blog recently. I am so elated with my relationship that my thoughts don't match my blog. I can and will find a way to overcome the anxiety that seems to be plaguing my thoughts of overwhelming volumes of my loss of words for my beloved blog.
I don't want to lose my fellow friends nor change my blog title so bare with me as I create a happy medium in my blog world. Thank you all for being so patient. I have so much to share with you all.

I am still in love and dating D. We aren't engaged just yet however he did purchase my ring and has a special event planned for a special engagement event but he wont give me any details about any of it.

He does know about my blog (gasp), HOWEVER he respects it as my personal diary and has no desire to read it. (THANK GOD). I was a bit apprehensive about telling him about it, only because I don't want to have any secrets between us. He had the right response and the way I hoped he would have reacted to my blog was exactly the way he took it. Yes, I did tell him it had details in it and although I don't quite think he understood the magnitude of the details I meant, he respected that they were not things I wanted him to read nor things he cared to read in detail. (He thinks I'm sweet and innocent) ;)
So I look forward to again starting a new journey of writing and honesty with everyone. Thank you so very much for being so very patient with me.

Playing Catch up on my Blog!

I am alive my fellow bloggers! I have been so busy with my live, my new love , my kids and family, that I just haven't had any time to blog! I have missed it and I have missed all of you! My kids are great, we had great holidays and I am just extremely happy that they are over now!

I am still in love with my man D and he is equally in love with me! :)

Christmas went well, we had Christmas at my place with my boys the Thursday morning before Christmas, because I had to work Friday Christmas eve morning and the boys would be at their dad's places for Christmas morning. Christmas eve evening we went to my middle sister's for our family Christmas. Everyone was on their best behavior! :) Well except for my uncle S who was ready to hurry up and get out of their to go smoke some pot that he so politely announced at dinner, and my dad who decided to tell everyone that my cooking and was better than sex in the middle of dinner. Yes my family is as normal as everybody's. After dinner I took the boys to their dads and went to D's.


Christmas morning was great we woke up to a white Christmas everything was snowed on and my man and I exchanged gifts. I got him a digital picture frame with memory card and I had borrowed (snuck) some pictures out of his picture box in his closet and uploaded all his pics of his family and daughter and him onto it, it was great! He loved it! He got me a tanzanite and diamond promise ring that is gorgeous!
I am so totally in love with him! So after our our sweet Christmas morning together with just the two of us, we headed over to pick his daughter up from her mom's. We had a little difficulty with the driving part and got snuck a time or tow on a few hills but we eventually made it south to his mom's house. It was a lovely family Christmas and everyone loves me! WOOHOO!

On Monday morning I drove to my youngest sisters and best friends house for a few days of sister talk and cooking (cause we love to cook). We aren't wine drinkers but I had stopped by a winery on my way down and pick up a bottle of raspberry white zinfandel which was so full of deliciousness! We drank the entire bottle while we cooked dinner and caught up on each others lives! Wine and chocolate creme cake! yummy!Was home in time for new years eve with my man and our kids. We had a great night! So all in all the holidays were great, but so glad they are over! Happy New Year everyone!

My Weight Issues

My struggles with weight began when I gave birth to my first son at age 16. I weighed 109 at my first visit to the doctor at age 16 when I first found out I was pregnant. Ever since then I just sort of took it as it came....
After my second divorce at 29 I joined the gym in town. I needed to find myself again and find the strong woman that I knew I was! At 30 I was in the best physical shape of my life, and now at 35 I find myself struggling again.
I was never one to weigh myself...I never thought that the number on the scale quite told the entire story of my health or my body type....I am very curvy and just because I weigh more than someone else doesn't mean, I am not as well fitted in my clothes...
So I joined the gym again a few weeks ago, and I love it! I love feeling my body tone up and see the results happen before my eyes. I have lost 8 lbs in 8 weeks. It's not the speediest process but it works and more importantly I feel better. I have always been comfortable in my skin....even at my heaviest weight of 162 I rocked a string bikini. Oh yes I did! I did it quite well also! My curves hid my rolls...lol You see I have a love of food...I love all food. As Queen Latifah put it "I'm not one of those salad eating chics"
So now I'm 154 and feeling much better! I still have a little ways to go but I will make it!
My goal is to be 145 by Christmas! Yes I can do this! I want to be at my best when i meet D's parents and family at Christmas. It's crazy that I want to be better for him, but I do! He thinks I'm crazy because he likes me just the way I am, which is so sweet, but this isn't about him, its about me! I can do this I AM A STRONG WOMAN!

Did You Know?

A few things you don't know about me.

1. I am terrified of spiders, scary stuff (everything scary,movies,books,people,things), and thunderstorms (because I grew up in FL and lived through several tornadoes and a few hurricanes).


2. I have never had a wedding (even though I've been married twice) or been to prom with anyone!


3. I loathe stupid people! I just don't understand how they are make it through life without "common sense"!


4. I love pedicures! I love for my feet to be pretty and my toes to be painted pink!


5. I love my toes to be polished but I can't stand my fingernails to be painted (it makes my fingers feel heavy, I know it sounds silly but it does!)


6. Growing up I always thought I'd go to college to become a Lawyer


7. It took my 11 years to get my associates degree (off and on while being a mom to four kids and working two jobs) and only 18 months to get my bachelors.


8. I grew up white trash but I have never let it define what I do or who I am (even though I was a teen-mom)


9. I don't have "daddy issues" (even though my current boyfriend D has the same name as my father, weird huh!)


10. My youngest sister is my very best friend and I couldn't live without her!

A few things I want to do in life....

1. I want to spend a week or two in Bora-Bora in one of those over the water bungalows.


2. I want to learn how to drive and buy my own motorcycle.


3. I want to own a house on the beach that also has a pool.


4. I want my eyeliner tattooed on (I don't have any tattoos but I want my eyeliner tattooed on )


5. I want to run a marathon one day.


6. I want to go to Mackinac Island and spend the week without technology.


7. I want to go to the Grand Canyon


8. I want to visit Niagara Falls


9. I want to have season tickets to all the Alabama football games! (I love Bama football I am a true fan, win or lose I love them)


10. I want to write a book about my life. (and maybe a few articles for playboy/girl...lol)

I Can't Stop Smiling!

I literally can't stop smiling! I am generally a smiley person, but this week has been wonderful! I have been talking to D.

We went on a nice dinner date on Tuesday night where we literally couldn't stop talking, touching, or smiling. In fact we sat there in the restaurant till the staff had put up all the chairs and the manager came out to politely tell us that we didn't have to go home but we couldn't stay there...lol

What the hell has come over me! Let me start by saying first this week started off like this....for the first time in over 5 years I turned T down for sex! OMG I didn't even think about it I just did it, I told him no.

Then after the dinner and conversation on Tuesday he asked if I'd like to have dinner with his parents next week for his birthday (which I have already gotten him a gift for..shhhh)! I didn't even hesitate to say yes I would love to.

What the hell has gotten into me...I think I have been possessed by some giddy smiley teenager!

Then he says "want to take the kids to dinner and a movie this week?". Again I said yes!

So tonight we met at dinner with my 12 year old son and his 10 year daughter. We had a nice dinner and everyone got along great. Then we went to the theater to see the new Disney movie Tangled, which was great! After the movies we stopped by the game room for the kids to play arcade games and where we played a game of air hockey and he beat me badly, only because I couldn't stop laughing! (OK he beat me fairly lol) .

After the dinner and a movie and games, his daughter and I decided that we should all go for ice cream. Secretly it was my plan to offer it so that I could spend more time with him :) OMG what is wrong with me! So we all go get ice cream (which totally screwed up my week I spent at the gym this week ....lol) and sit for another 45 minutes laughing and talking.

Unfortunately both the kids have to go to school in the morning, so being the responsible parents we are, we called it a night!

Wow, I can't recall ever feeling this way this fast about anyone, especially anyone that returned the feelings. I only remember having this feeling for T after our first date over 5 years ago and he quickly shot it down! I am totally in unmarked territory! I am freaking out! I haven't even had sex with him yet! I don't want to screw this up! I screw everything up!

Why now?
Why him?
I wasn't looking!
I was happy being single!
OMG!
Someone stop me from smiling my cheeks hurt!

Nothing Important or Even Interesting

While I'm sitting here waiting on Criminal Minds to start on the east-coast. I'm wondering how I ended up alone again on Thanksgiving? My youngest son is at his dad's, my oldest is at his girlfriends/flavor of the weeks, and I'm here all alone....
I don't mind it, it's just quite...unusually quite!
My neighbors moved out a few weeks ago, so it is quieter than normal around here...

I did make two beautiful cakes to take to my brothers tomorrow. A strawberry cake with fresh strawberries and whipped topping on top and an Mandarin Orange cake with crushed pineapples and whipped topping on top...

Making desserts are way more tiring than making dinner...there is so much effort and attention that you have to give them! It's like entertaining men...lmao Yes I'm serious if you give them attention they are receptive and act right. If you ignore them they misbehave and fall.

I hope everyone has a great holiday and eat lots of good food! I'll be back to my less boring self tomorrow!

Odds & Ends II

I still haven't talked to my psycho sister, except to say, while laughing, congratulation, because her and my bro-in-law S are getting married again! I thought I was going to fall in the floor laughing when she posted that he had asked her for the fourth time to marry him. This will be their third marriage to each other!I'm serious after filing and paying for 3 divorces and completing only 2 of them! LMAO who does that? What a dumb ass he is!

J has been hanging around after apologizing for being crazy and we sort of fell back into the swing of things. Even though I know it won't go anywhere he is great in bed!

R (my ex fiance) has been lingering around and trying to get me to spend time with him, which I did on Thursday, I couldn't help myself. I had been "out of order" for almost three weeks and I needed some sex, and he knows how to please me!

E (the much younger co-worker) was trying his best to get me to go out with him, and his friends last night. A night of drinks at a local restaurant seated at the bar, then to the local pool hall for some fun with his 20 something year old friends all drinking and smoking, just sounded like too much fun (sarcasm) for me. I turned him down rather quickly. Lets face it, I'm not into boy-toys, drinking isn't my thing, and I like my air straight up not tainted with carcinogens!

My 12 year old son got in trouble at school Friday, which I will have to address on Monday, since I work all weekend every weekend.

I have noticed several blogs this weekend out the lack of luster on the weekend and/or the slow down of their blog comments. I don't know about anyone else but while I'm at work which is every weekend from dawn to dusk (yes I work Fri sat and Sunday double shifts), I can read blog posts but not if they are marked adult content (like mine lol) and I can't post comments on them unless they have those pop up comment boxes....I have no idea why but for some reason the comment portion of blogging is blocked on my work computers.....So rest assured I am reading your weekend post and will catch up on comments on Monday.

On a happier note I have taken some time off for next month to go spend some time with my best friend and youngest sister, and I can't wait! We always have fun and get to catch up in person on each others lives. You know girl talk, a night of dinner and drinks without the kids, and a few days of after Christmas shopping....I so can't wait. I only get to see her about 3-4 times a year since we live quite far apart. :(

Odds and Ends

So here's the scoop...J is still being nice and we are having a great time together! CL is wanting to have dinner sometime this week. M called tonight and wants to get together for lunch this week. J and I haven't set boundaries or defined our little situation yet and neither of us are bringing up the "relationship talk" so we are just taking it a day at a time.

My sister and I are still not talking and I'm OK with that! I am her sister I'm just not her friend!

I haven't seen the girl I have a "kissing crush" on in almost 3 months but I had a dream about her last night. I suppose because I had her on my mind and wrote that blog about her is the only reason why.

I have been tooling about the blog world looking for some more interesting bloggers to follow and came to realize that most of the blogging world have blogs about religions and faith and their family. Huh well guess I'm just an odd blogger! lol

I enjoy the blogs I follow and my fellow bloggers that are following me! Thank you!