Wedding Night Bliss?

This blog post is what I'm going to coin as a pg/r/pg rated blogwich (like a sandwich, meaning the first part is pg and the middle is rated R and it ends pg) :)

Our wedding was wonderful, it was a beautiful ceremony with our closest family and friends. We had 35 or so guests and my dress was awesome. It was what I always thought it would be as a little girl! :)

Friends and family had a great time. Ceremony started at 6:30pm so we had the entire day to prepare. Hair, makeup, dress, tuxes and rental car check. One sick vomiting kid...ugh and he was mine, but it was from all the candy he had eaten all day and all the cokes he wasn't use to having. He was better once my sister who is a nurse took him home and fed him chicken soup. Wedding went quick and it was lots of fun, then came the honeymoon!

Let me start by saying letting your new husband of two hours carry all the money , might have some hiccups in the situation sooner rather than later.

We got all settled in our rental car for our trip to Atlanta to catch the early flight out to the Dominican Republic for 7 days. Got about 20 miles down the road and realized we had no luggage, it was still in my car, that my sister took with her. Luckily we caught her and she met us to get our luggage. It was now midnight!

We had a wonderful trip to Atlanta checked into our hotel and he quickly grabbed me and peeled off over my head the sun dress I had replaced my wedding dress with to reveal my white lace corset with matching strings thongs, which didn't stay on long as it quite quickly hit the floor and I was lowered to the bed, he began to kiss me softly on my lips as he made his way across to my ear and down my neck kissing every inch of skin to where his hands were cupping my breasts tenderly massaging my nipples to make them firmly stand at attention till his lips and tongue could reach them.

Slowly his hands released my breast and began a smooth slither down my ribs, then down my waist to my hips to let his mouth take over my nipples. As he was making sure to give each of my breast ample attention with his tongue his hand was now cupping my womanness taking in the heat that being emitted and was rising and forming a wetness. My little white lacy panties were maneuvered to the side as he gently took the tip of one finger and dipped it slightly into my pussy to dampen it and to feel the moisture and heat rise while slowly moving up to find my clit which was then starving for some attention. The first touch sent shivers up my entire body, he continued  manipulating my clit to maximum alertness . Moving his mouth up to mine we passionately kissed while he slid my panties off and got his shirt and pants off to reveal his solid manhood. My wet desiring mouth made it slowly down his body to engulf his manhood into it feeling it's heat fill my mouth while my tongue lapped  up the dipping wetness of him, he was begging to be inside me, I slowly went back up and we met in the middle as his hardness found my wetness for some slipping in and out fun, feeling the heat and dripping wetness down my thighs onto the bed while I was firmly but gently with force holding on  to his back with my nails dug in panting to the rhythm of his thrusts till our climaxes collided in a hot wet moment of throbbing greatness and he collapsed on the bed beside me.

By this time it's 2:45 in the morning and making sure we had our things together we gather our melted bodies up to make sure our luggage and carry ones were all packed appropriately to quickly realize that we have NO money! Yes my newly acquired god of love making had left all our money in his tux pocket in which my sister who lives in northern Georgia so graciously volunteered to return the next day for us. So she had it more than 2 hours away and it was t-5 hours till take off to our honeymoon. So I called my sister who again graciously met us half way with our money but by this time my husband was asleep in the passenger seat and I drove there and back so at around 6 am I finally get into bed to wake up two hours later frantically trying to get our things together and get to the airport before take off, and foolishly forgetting that we hadn't stopped for gas to top off the rental car at 6 in the morning only for the rental company to charge an extra $110 for a half tank of gas! Note: do not ever return a rental car without topping off the gas tank first!

We happily and thankfully made it to our flight and safely to our all inclusive honeymoon suite for a week of wedded bliss in the beautiful Dominican Republic by 2 pm.......to be continued with pics on another post for another day. :)

Crotch Lightening?

Ok so milk does the body good....inside and out right....you know the good for calcium for your bones and good for the skin for moisture? But, your crotch? whoa hold up one minute I had to google this after an incident yesterday....so this is what google gave me http://www.tandurust.com/health-faq/dark-crotch-remedies-and-treatment.html . Apparently you can lighten your crotch with milk! Who knew!

Learn something new everyday!

I would have never guessed that sour milk or buttermilk although they are high in lactic acid would have been proven to lighten skin in your crotch area. However the website states that you can apply sour milk or buttermilk on your crotch for a lighter and better texture on the said area!

So I googled milk crotch because as I thought my day yesterday was going to be fantastic because it started out with breakfast at Panera (which I love). Quite quickly turned into a wet milky crotch for the rest of my day, and work shift for 12 hours! Showering at midnight!

Yes I ordered a bagel and a milk to go. Unfortunately Panera's cups are not the sturdiest cups and the slightest squeeze sends liquid quickly rushing out the top and over spilling for fear of bearing squished after being squeezed and churned and so far the last thing milk wants it to be squeezed in a flimsy plastic cup.

 So I happy order a cinnamon crunch bagel, and a skim milk, graciously thanking the lady at the register and walking out to my car.

I get all settled in my car, put the milk in-between thighs....not my smartest moment....ok then I begin to put my stick shift (my manual transmission) car into reverse and apparently in the process of pressing in the clutch on my car my thighs clenched together and the milk in my little flimsy cup runneth over into my crotch!

Scrambling for napkins or anything at this point to try to dry my scrubs off before reaching the hospital to start my 12 hour shift I managed to spill the rest of my milk in my crotch!

Fortunately, I have no air conditioning in my car so the milk will dry on my scrubs before my 45 min drive to the hospital, However; unfortunately I have no air conditioning in my car so by the time I get to work my crotch with smell of spoiled milk and my scrubs will be dry so it will be an awkward conversation if anyone notices!

So notes to self :
1.ALWAYS use the cup holders located conveniently in the center console of my car.
2. Don't try to drive with a flimsy cup between your thighs.
3. Check to see if this really did lighten my crotch....how would I know? I don't think I've honestly ever thought about the color spectrum in my crotch area! (although my husband told me I had a very nicely colored va-jay-jay and not to be concerned with it) lol
4. Don't try lightening your crotch on the go, it's too messy.

Operation Sex Drive!

I'm not sure how I got so far behind on my blogging. It's been a year since I blogged and I've missed it, however I just couldn't gather the motivation for sitting at the computer and typing things out. I've had plenty of things to say and plenty of time to say it in, I just didn't do it. It's like I lost my Mo-Jo! I seem to have that effect on things.

So a whole year! Wow I have a lot of catching up to type about, don't I?

Ok so last year I got engaged, we bought a house and against better judgement of family we moved in together. Things went as expected! Living with someone makes everyone make adjustments in living, breathing, thinking, eating, crying, laughing, loving, and any other daily activities anyone could possibly think of. Yes it's true, however I do always stay the same person. I have never tried to be someone else or make the man I'm dating think I was anything but me.

Even my husband (yes it's official I did get married), said I pretty much told him who I was the first night, he said he thought I may have been trying to scare him off.....lol I found that funny! So as I was saying I am me, but we all know men change things up often and put their best foot forward in the beginning then as time moves on and newness wears off, things to women seems to become more obvious whether or not we can live, tolerate, and or deal with the man he really is.....ok to be fair women do this also the whole bait and switch of the person you think the other person wants.

So after two failed marriages I know this one is the real one and it will prevail through thick and thin and  so on and so forth...This doesn't mean I'm not going to bitch about it when I'm not happy with a situation, I am a woman!

So if you recall any of my previous post including the one about the man of steel, you know many things get in the way of sex! Apparently I broke something! No I'm not abusing appendages this time, I mean something is broke and I don't know what?

What's more frustrating a woman who says "nothing" when asked what's wrong? or a man?
How about asking what is the problem, and the response being I don't know! What's broken? How do we fix this if no one is talking. You would think I would be the one not talking right? saying nothing is wrong and I don't know....This is what men complain about right? Us not talking or avoiding the conversations with statements of "I don't know" and "Nothing"!  And then bottling it up to boil over time to explode at a later date! Yes I admit I have done this a time or two, but not this time! It wasn't me! However my husband has these issues which I found out on our honeymoon !

Time to get to the bottom of things
Problem: we have been married two months and have had sex about four(4) times since returning  from our honeymoon!
Solution: have sex!

Seems pretty simple right?
Apparently not so much!

Plan B
Problem: no sex and no one is talking about it.
Solution: Talk about it and get to it!

Plan C
Problem: no sex, no problems and nothing is wrong and he doesn't know.
Solution: TALK!

Plan E
Problem: 2am have to be at work at 7 am and still up trying to drag out the problem.
Solution: stop talking and have sex :)

FYI(yes I purposely skipped D and F, because D(divorce) is not a plan or an option and neither is F(failure).

Plan G
Problem: that solved one issue...Sex was great as always, so why are we not having it everyday?
Answer? I don't know!
Solution: sleep on it and regroup, I'm exhausted and need sleep.

Plan H
Problem: no sex in a newly wed couple, is NOT normal!
Solution: SEX! Operation Sex Drive is now activated! Now to implement the necessary plans to get the bottom of the missing sex drive of my husband!

Just ranting, but open to any suggestions!

My Weight Issues II

So the holidays are upon us once more....joy joy! I have to say my life has turned upside down since last Christmas, and I have a blog to prove it ...lol

So I bought a wedding dress....one size too small...yes on purpose! Crazy? Well maybe, but I found the perfect dress and it barely zipped up the back (and I couldn't breath)and the bridal consultant said "I can get that in a bigger size for you" WHAT! OMG HELL NO! I will fit in this dress in this size by the wedding or I will get married naked! Of course the sales lady thought I was kidding but it does sound like a great idea, and it would save alot of money, to have  an all nude wedding right? lol

Well maybe it wouldn't be the best day to see all my family and his family naked in one place, ok saying it out loud made it sound really gross! Oh my that make me laugh! So since a nude wedding is out of the question, I started my workouts again and he been doing really well with the working out and the diet portion, with only a few slip ups!

So I started Taekwondo back a few months ago and it has been a fun thing the whole family is doing together. Then I started Kisado a few weeks ago, which is a kickboxing/yoga/aerobic workout, which is kicking my butt. It is so much fun though. I also started doing P90X with my man at home at night and it's kicking my butt and on top of that I'm going to the gym during the day. Yes, my fellow bloggers I am on a mission to get into my wedding dress. I have already lost 6 pounds in two weeks. I am so very excited!

The great thing about all this working out is that it has boosted my sex drive up and my mans sex drive as well! We are making love everyday! OMG it is AWESOME!

What Do Bras, Hamburgers, and Snickers Have In Common?

My birthday came and my sister/best friend and I won a trip to New York and we got to do a bra commercial. Yes I’m serious! My sister and I are now bra models….ok it was a one time thing but we won a free trip with airfare and accommodations and spending money and the trip also included a free makeover and clothes and shoes and jewelry, which we got to keep. Sounds like a great thing right? Oh my, I can’t even begin to describe that craziness that came with winning a free trip to New York on my birthday, to strip down to my skivvies on national TV.

First I drove the five hours to my sister’s house, so that we could fly together to New York, for our first ever visit to that huge crazy city! We were so excited to be experiencing this all together. We got up at 3:00 am on my birthday and made to the airport at 5 am to catch a 6:30 am flight to Atlanta, to then run frantically through the airport to the terminal to catch our connecting flight from Atlanta to New York, which we made with a few minutes to spare.

The arrival into New York went well we landed safely, and went to get our baggage, then call our car service which was provided for was courteously through the bra company that now OWNED us for the next four days! In fact our instructions, told us to do just that to get our luggage and then call for our car, except no one told us that my phone would be ringing with a strange number appearing on it while we were trying to find our luggage among 4 million other black luggage bags, and it would be a non-English speaking person on the other end! Ok maybe I’m exaggerating, he spoke English just not fluently and with such an eastern ascent that I couldn’t understand him, and what made it worse….he couldn’t understand my southern accent either!

So this is how our New York trip began. I couldn’t understand him nor could I hear him in all the hustle and bustle of the New York airport, then we got disconnected. He called back and he was asking where we were standing and why we hadn’t see him holding my name up  on a white piece of card board in the middle of the landing at the bottom of the escalators among 12 million other people standing there also. As if we would know that there would be a middle- eastern man with a turban on his head in full eastern attire holding up a sign with my name on it in the New York airport! NO! We didn’t get that memo!

So when we finally found each other he had us to follow him to his car. Only it wasn’t parked at the curb! So we were following this stranger who we didn’t completely understand, to the “south forty” of the New York City airport in the dead heat of summer at literally 102 degrees weather, in heels! Yes, we wanted to be fashionably beautiful when we arrived for our first and possibly last visit to New York. So all we brought were heels! Not the smarted thing we have ever done by far! Anyways, we followed him cautiously to his car at a safe enough distance that if perhaps we needed to turn and run we could at least have a few steps of a head start, also a safe enough distance to be planning our escape without him hearing us, if by chance we were to get kidnapped by this stranger we were following into an unfamiliar location.

Luckily the car had the appropriate signs on it, enough to at least calm our nerves, until of course we got on the road with him driving! OMG We just knew we were going to die on that car ride to the hotel. Only to find out later that, that was a common feeling every time you got into a cab in NY. Apparently beeping your horn and flipping people the finger is so common in New York that it is returned with a smile.

 We arrived safely at our hotel, 4 hours too early to check into it! So here we were in an unfamiliar city in high heels with no place to go for four hours. Luckily the front desk held our luggage for us to go explore the city till our rooms were ready. So off we went in the biggest city we had ever seen, with no direction where we were going. We ended up two blocks over and down a block in a little nice Irish Pub, for lunch and something cold to drink. We were taking pictures and having sisterly conversations, all was good at that moment. On our walking adventure there were lots of sights, smells, and sounds on the streets. In fact we were walking by this man yelling “handbags and sneakers” and as this young kid on a skateboard was rolling pass us he said how do “hamburgers and snickers” go together? OMG we laughed till we got home about that comment. We did wander pass and of course into the “museum of sex”, which was a totally interesting place…I recommend visiting if you are in that area. J

This sign is posted on the wall when you enter! How funny you would have to instruct people what not to do! Must mean someone tried it, already! OH MY!

Afterwards we wandered around, careful not to wander too far as to not remember our way back to our hotel. Within a few hours we had our rooms in the coolest hotel we had ever seen. Seriously when you walk in the lobby was a bar/night club with live music, with a coffee shop and a full upscale restaurant attached. The rooms were fully decorated in retro form and where stocked with sound equipment, a turntable, a guitar, and lots of old records. The room included a fully stocked refrigerator and snack bar with microwave and a laptop to use for the duration our stay in NY.  The room was by far the coolest part of our stay. Oh and did I mention we had a great view of the Empire State building from our windows!

So it was my birthday and I was in New York with my best friend and sister for the first time ever so after our meet and greet at five pm with the producers and the bra executives, we decided to go to Times Square and have dinner and shop. Only we had no clue how to get there and we were trying to be frugal with our expenses and decided we would get a map and walk to time square. It couldn’t possibly be too far, or so we thought! We walked and walked in our high heels at night past the movie in the central park with the swat team fully dressed out in full riot gear with AK47’s in full view and standing at full attention, We walked past many blocks getting slower with each step we took. The blisters began to pop up one by one on our feet; I honestly considered walking barefoot on the NY city sidewalk! EWE! We finally saw a Walgreen's so we crossed the busy NY street into the biggest ever Walgreen's we had ever seen. Four floors with escalators to each floors and packed from floor to ceiling with everything that could possible be in any store between there and Florida, so luckily on the very top floor we found flip flops! Yes brightly colored non fashionable tourist painted flip flops! Want to guess what we wore for the remainder of my birthday evening in Times Square? Yes flip flops!

We ended up at Hard Rock Café in Times Square on my birthday! Even more surprising we walked in to find the longest line we had ever seen or even thought that would ever fit inside a restaurant building, we literally stood in line less than a minute when one of the waitress’s came around the corner and said is there just two of you for dinner tonight and we said yes, and she said follow me. We walked past about 100 people in line in front of us and she sat us at table within one minute! Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, it was my birthday on Times Square in NY and I didn’t have to wait for a table to eat!

First of all I would like to say that 2 particular New York City Police Officers are not helpful at all!!!!! All was going well till we tried to return at midnight to our hotel which was 6 blocks away. So in the middle of the night in NY we decided it would be a good idea to try out the Subway systems! I only thought the NY city streets in a cab, was scary till I got acquainted with the NY subway tunnels and people in the middle of a NY city night! I did not know that the subway train goes at 20000 miles an hour through a dark narrow tunnel with people on it! I was frightened to tears I just wanted to go home!  We got our one week pass for the subway then we wondered past the entry to the tracks, when we came upon two police officers standing around talking and scoping out the people, we politely asked if they could tell us which train went closest to our hotel so that we could get safely back. They looked at each other and said “just take the one train”. Huh where and what is the one train? Their response was “just follow the signs you’ll find it. So we are looking a the signs and getting more tired and irritable by the minute, we find the one train but the signs are not clear on to where it goes, so we stupidly rely on the advice of the NYPD and get on the one train. OMG it is now past midnight and two southern white girls are on the non-returning train of the night to Harlem! I told you I couldn’t make this stuff up! Not to mention the man beside us has a guitar and is singing “Jesus misses me” to the top of his lungs and wouldn’t stop until the man on the other side of us offered him a quarter to stop singing while he was on the train! Luckily it wasn’t the last train of the night it was the second to last one and we were returned to our point of origin at the same terminal we started at.

Now even more frustrated and sleepy we had to find the right train on our own. After about fifteen minutes we found the right train to where we needed to be going and it took it about fifteen more minutes to return to the terminal to pick us up (in NY city subway time it felt like a very slow hour and not fifteen minutes). By the way we could have walked back to our hotel by that time it was only six blocks away! I promise neither of us is that ditsy, we were just that tired! We did make it safely back to our rooms about 1 am, in time to get a few hours of sleep before our 5am wake up call and our car to the studio was waiting on us at 630 sharp. We didn’t use the subway the rest of our trip! So if anyone needs a subway card I have one I’ll give you for free!

After our first night of fun we were then prisoners to the bra company the entire rest of the week. The first day was all the “before” photo shoots, the- in our own clothes, our own bras, our own makeup and hair. It was a very long day, in which they wanted to make sure we looked our worst so that the makeovers would be that more spectacular! I now know for sure that all commercials are lies! They did interviews in which we had to say what they wanted us to say and dress like they wanted us to dress and so forth. We didn’t get out of day one productions till nearly 7pm. We did meet some great new friends and we ended up going to dinner with them at Serendipity’s and had some fun for a few hours before we went back to crash exhaustedly into our lush beds for a few more hours till the next wake up call at 7 am.

Our third day in NY and the second and final day of production were upon us. We got up didn’t do our hair or makeup, didn’t even bother getting out of our pajamas practically and went to the studio set. We were pampered with hair and makeup professionals, wardrobe from head to toe and a stylist. Sounds like fun huh? It was crazy! Lights cameras, production staff, I’m talking about 40 men fully dressed in a studio with women all in the skivvies! To hair, then to makeup, then to wardrobe, then repeat and repeat again. Then to fully dressed after photos and then undressed new bra photos, and then the after production of the bra commercial, also the after interviews about how and why we loved our new bras! It was crazy!!!!!  

The last and final night in NY all of us woman in the photo shoot went to Tres Hermanos for dinner. It was so much fun, but we were all worn out. We didn’t get back to our rooms till about 11 pm. We had to be up by 6am the following morning to meet our car for the trip back to the airport. Once through security at we boarded the plane and sat on the tarmac for nearly 2 hours, then landing in Atlanta for our connecting flights 2 hours late, running through the airport like crazy people trying to make our flight only to have the terminal door shut in our face because they gave our seats away to the standby flyers because we weren’t there 30 minutes early to check in! Seriously! So two and half hours later and my sister was cussing out the ticket desk rude lady to get us a new flight! We could have driven home in that time, but the production company wouldn’t pay for a rental car!

Finally on our way home, on our final flight back to the origin of our departure four days prior was a living nightmare! Storms forced our plane to go out over the ocean after dropping in elevation by a couple thousands feet, with people screaming and crying! The pilot saying please remain seated and belted down and feel free to pray! We circled the runway 3 times before he told us to brace for landing and once the wheels hit the tarmac in the storm we fishtailed sideways on the runway! I think everyone on the plane needed new skivvies by then!

Safely on the ground we were very happy to be home. So beware of winning a trip, it could be deadly…lol even more it could be sad, because in reality we spent 4 days in New York and we didn’t get to see any of the sights, and probably never will because I have no desire on earth to visit New York again. I know I disappointed my sister who wanted to go to the Empire State building after dinner one night and the fact that we never had the time to shop or go to the harbor to at least glance at the Statue of Liberty. I feel bad that we won a completely free trip to New York and didn’t get to enjoy it! L

My Engagement :)

So a lot has happened since my last entry. First I got
engaged in June to the most wonderful and amazing man I have ever met. I have
never been in love till now. My family keeps telling me that they have never
seen me this happy and telling my fiancé that they have never seen me in love.
So now, here come all the details.

We went on a family vacation to the beach back in June, with
our children. Apparently our kids don’t love the beach as much as we do; they
were not pleased that we got to spend 11 days at the beach. They were ready to
go home after they 4th day.

On our sixth month
mark he got down on one knee on the beach at sunset and ….forgot what he wanted
to say…lol apparently he was extremely nervous! It was so cute, so before he
could even get a word out of his mouth I was screaming YES-YES-YES, and he
informed me I couldn’t answer the question before he asked it…
. Happily engaged, we enjoyed the rest of our vacation.

Upon returning from vacation a newly engaged couple we
decided that living an hour apart in different states wasn’t going to work out
for us, we decided to buy a house and move in together. So him as his daughter
moved in first, then my youngest son and I moved in a few weeks later.

MANHOODS BEWARE

I have to admit I'm not the safest person to have around appendages. Not even my own are safe, you all know this because I told you in a previous blog post about my painful nipple incident.
I think I may have committed the ultimate crime upon a penis....well not really I do believe that Lorena Bobbitt owns that prestigious and utmost crazy title!

So let me begin by saying there was no predetermined malicious thoughts to harming my man's manhood, it was strictly a horrible accident! Here's the series of unfortunate events of that night that will and should make every man reading this cringe.

D and I were making love and as we do on often occasions, switching positions from missionary to doggy style. Once we got situated and we were getting rather loud and into it I decided to reach down from underneath to touch myself. I do that quite often so I didn't realize the harm in it this time around. D was sliding in and out as I was touching myself and we were getting louder and faster, and louder and faster to the point of climax when tragedy struck!

D's manhood slipped out on his way back and on his rebound forward he simultaneously but instantly missed and instead of finding my wet warm spot he "sliced" his manhood across my very long but real fingernails! Yes, one of my fingernails was in the direct line of a speeding, rebounding penis!

Needless to say our rather hot and passionate moment was instantly over in that slice! There was a gashed opening from the head of his penis about an inch and half long down his shaft, gushing blood all over the place. Once we got the bleeding to stop and we disinfected the area, I was horrified that I had unintended maliciously mangled one of my mans body parts! :( I felt and feel so very bad about harming his manhood!

We were out of commission for about a week while he healed and disinfected the area leaving a scar of our unintended malicious mishap of that day!

Once all healed up and ready for some fun my man ready to get back into action, pulled me into the tanning bed room at our local gym! Yes the most germ filled place in the world, a gym! We had sex inside the stand up tanning bed before our workout that day!