The Case of The Disappearing Socks!

My fellow blogger mom Sandra over at Absolutely Narcissism , is so funny and completely blunt in her blog. I have to pimp her out today for the blog she posted about the word "vagina".

I have to say I do the same stuff with my boys. I scare them into not wanted to have sex without a condom and making sure not to get anyone pregnant...lets face it I have no other options..I can't put my boys on birth control!

This brings me to the time I took my oldest to his 11 year check up. He had just turned 11, and I was thinking this would be like any other day at the pediatricians office...I was so very WRONG!

His Doctor turned to me and said have you had the talk with him about masturbation. What The Fuck? He is 11! Then she proceeded to tell me with my terrified looked on my face that boys start masturbating about the age of 11. OMG isn't this his dad's job to talk to his son about masturbation? No she said boys and their dad's are to embarrassed to talk to each other about masturbation.

Oh shit, I know nothing about boys masturbating except for the fact the I had to buy my second ex husband 3 pocket pussies cause he kept wearing holes in them. This would be different she said cause I shouldn't under any circumstance buy him a pocket pussy! lol Why not? They are easily discreet and washable and make life a lot easier for me!

I ignored the pediatrician, I figured it would come along soon enough and I would deal with it then. Oh but I was so wrong! I should have dealt with it when she told me to.

I started finding crusty socks stuffed behind his bed and under his bed and in his closet. OMG GROSS! Then the unthinkable happened! Yes I walked in on him masturbating! He had not locked or even bothered to shut the his bed room door so I didn't think nothing of walking right in to deliver his clean clothes from the dryer for him to put away! OMG! I never again went into his room .
I did however sit my then 12 year old and my then 6 year old sons down ...Yes the youngest was six when this conversation took place....brace yourselves!

This is how it went!
Look I know boys have needs and they sometimes want to explore their bodies and that their penis does funny things when they touch it, however I am telling both of you that doing that in your bedroom isn't allowed! They make showers for that so that all the evidence goes down the drain , and if I find one more crusty sock in this house I will serve it to you for dinner!

The oldest was laughing at me but stopped laughing when I told him I would make him eat the nasty crusty sock, the youngest was locked on every word but never said anything.

So this brings me to my now 12 year son taking a damn hour and fifteen minute shower the other night and then getting up before the alarm went off the very next morning and getting back into the shower for another 1 hour long shower! OMG

Why did GOD bless me of all people with boys! So the point of this blog is that kids pay attention to everything that is said no matter their age and thank GOD cause I swear if I start finding crusty socks again I will puke!

My Head Hurts From Thinking!

D has been texting me all day while he and I have been at work! We have so much to talk about. He told me he was in "like" with me(it's like a school yard crush ;)). He also said that he has been bragging to his buddies that he has a "hot" new lady who likes him!

He was so cute the other night when he came over. He said I have a surprise....really? ....he then pulled out his camera and said I have something you need to see....so when he turned it on the pictures from the night we met were on it and a video of us at the bar we met in.

Yes 3 years ago, on a chance meeting because I got stood up, when I ended up at the sports bar in my evening gown, were our pictures together of two strangers striking up a romance from the start.

I was amazed ...what is even funnier he had a friend with him at the bar taking the pictures and video of us that night and I don't even recall him having a friend with him that night, I only remember him!

WOW...I'm pretty excited and anxious, he invited my son and I to a movie Thursday night after school and to dinner. I think it will be fun so we made plans to have a kids night out with the two preteens- his ten year old daughter and my twelve year old son.

I think he likes me! I'm super excited..

So now when do I move it to the next level?

How do I give up T and when?

I'm am really nervous...OMG I need to calm down and go with the flow or I will scare him off!

Shit I want to jump up and down with excitement already!

I have officially gone crazy! I think I'm way over thinking this already, but he is keeping a smile on my face!

Oh and he just texted me and said by the way on my way home tonight I stopped by the theater and got all of our tickets for the movie on Thursday! I'm impressed, he must be really thinking he is going to stick around and make me fall for him! :)

Is He A Misogynist?

I'm not going to lie, I had to google misogynist, I had no clue what it meant...OMG This definition sums it up about it...

WARNING:....A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his!

I seriously found this definition on google at www.urbandictionary.com/define

So I sent this definition to my friend and fellow blogger OilField Trash

He had stated in his blog that he had been accused of being a misogynist several times. Now I can't say that I have ever called anyone this word since I personally didn't have a clue what the hell it meant. However I'm pretty sure my ex-husband fits this definition perfectly! I think I should post a picture of him beside the definition on the urban dictionary website! So the opposite is called misandry, from the Greek, literally, meaning hatred of men. ...

Now O-T said "I'm not really one" and my response to him was "not really..makes you sound guilty?!" I went on to say I think that he may just be saying things that they don't want to hear...you know the truth hurts kind of stuff!

I think some PEOPLE need to grow up and listen sometimes. Not everything is a personal attack, and not every criticising opinion is bad, maybe its just a suggestive critique. Now I know men are sometimes PIGS...but seriously if every man you meet is a "misogynist", maybe your negative karma needs a shift in the moon alignments or something.

I have had my fair share of Misogynists, but as I get older and my brain is maturing I realize maybe I judged someone wrong. Maybe I jumped the gun and had an opinion formed just because I didn't want to form any other opinion.

There are those women who are man haters...not me of course I love men, and those men who are women haters! Those who would rather chew you up and spit you out than look at you. Yes you know the type!

However if jumping the gun and judging someone is a prejudice reaction, to something that they said or done, do they deserve a second chance?

I have a hunch that very few men or women are actually misogynists/misandrists . I mean I'm pretty damn sure Uran Vandersloot is definitely one and John Gardner is also and all of the other men/women who rape and beat and kill men/women are all misogynists/misandrist. I will by no means defend them or their actions.

A normal man/woman in your everyday life that isn't raping you , beating , or killing you probably isn't a misogynist/misandrist.

I REALLY THINK PEOPLE NEED TO SUCK IT UP AND STOP WHINING!

Not everything said is going to be your way ..this isn't Burger King! Also The truth isn't always your favorite flavor, but swallow it and get over it! Your not going to like everyone or even what everyone says or does, so why the HELL do you let these people dictate your feelings and your day?!

We should all Love our fellow bloggers! :)

The Man That (almost) Kissed Me On New Years!

So Thank you to all who understood and commented on my boredom post the other night. My evening didn't turn out as boring as I thought it would. You see back in May when I moved out and broke my engagement off I also downsized material things in my life.

The first to go was my Blackberry (crack-berry). Yes I went backwards from technology and got a regular no internet flip phone with NO perks! I thought I would die without my blackberry, I swear it use to be glued to my hand. In reality I survived without it!

When I down graded I had to upload my contacts back onto my new non-techno phone. Now if you have ever had a blackberry it's a different system that keeps your contacts than the regular one and since I had gotten engaged I had deleted most my old contacts off my blackberry.

However when you down grade and need your contacts put on your non-smart phone (it's cheaper and works better so I think it's a smarter phone), you have to go back to your old contacts list which included people that I truly hadn't talked to in years and some I didn't even remember.

So if you read my previous post In A Sports Bar In An Evening Gown you would have noticed maybe that I mentioned my evening which included two kisses from random strangers, however I was completely wrong I was only kissed by one stranger. Yes I still had one of their numbers and when I posted that post I texted D. The good looking man at the bar beside me that had wanted to kiss me but another man beat him to it out of the blue and shocked me.

D who is a single father of a 10 yr old girl, who has a good job and two bachelors degrees, texted me back , within seconds. I was shocked he still had my number. D tells me he recently got dumped by his fiance because she left him for a Miami Heat Player! I couldn't help but laugh. That has to be a pretty cool story to tell as a man! LMAO...OK maybe I'm just being mean!

So the other night while bored the night before Thanksgiving I invited him over. He said sure even though it was late when he got off work and he would have to leave and go straight to his mom's for their family dinner the next morning.

So D arrived at my apartment at at 10:15 pm and sat on the other end of the couch from me. We talked and talked and talked.....3 hours! yes 3 hours later after 1 am we were still talking. WOW he is truly a gentleman and could even carry on a conversation. On top of that he loves college football!

OMG! I may be jumping the gun here but I think he likes me! He called after-wards and said how much he enjoyed our conversation and then texted all the next day while at his mom's.

Seriously I'm super excited about this guy! I'm not sure why but he made me a little nervous but completely comfortable! Woohoo I will keep you all posted.

Wow I spent an entire evening with a good-looking, intelligent, funny man without getting bored to pieces!

Nothing Important or Even Interesting

While I'm sitting here waiting on Criminal Minds to start on the east-coast. I'm wondering how I ended up alone again on Thanksgiving? My youngest son is at his dad's, my oldest is at his girlfriends/flavor of the weeks, and I'm here all alone....
I don't mind it, it's just quite...unusually quite!
My neighbors moved out a few weeks ago, so it is quieter than normal around here...

I did make two beautiful cakes to take to my brothers tomorrow. A strawberry cake with fresh strawberries and whipped topping on top and an Mandarin Orange cake with crushed pineapples and whipped topping on top...

Making desserts are way more tiring than making dinner...there is so much effort and attention that you have to give them! It's like entertaining men...lmao Yes I'm serious if you give them attention they are receptive and act right. If you ignore them they misbehave and fall.

I hope everyone has a great holiday and eat lots of good food! I'll be back to my less boring self tomorrow!

Missing My True Love

Here's a picture of me in my favorite place in the whole world!

Yes I know it's not healthy but I don't drink and I don't smoke and I have never used drugs so get over it! My first love is the beach! Above all else of material things I feel at home at the beach. It's my place of solitude and solace. It's my place of complete relaxation. I can be there with anyone or all alone and feel completely at ease with life.

I spend all my vacations at the beach. I try to go at least 4 times a year. The 6 hour drive or 10 hour drive depending where I'm heading is always worth it!

You might be wondering why I am blogging about the beach in the middle of the holiday winter. Well the truth is , I miss it! I miss the sand between my toes. I miss feeling the ocean breeze swirling around my body, while listening to the seagulls squawk and watching the pelicans swooping down into the waves. Feeling the waves roll in across my feet and hearing them roll upon the the shore. I absolutely love feeling the sun kissing my body it is the most relaxing feeling I could ever feel!

I miss summer, I miss the beach! I hate to be cold! Yes I know I'm spoiling all those winter lovers pictures and posts but I can't help it...yes snow is pretty but way too cold for me! I much rather prefer the sandy beaches, and the HOT summer sun!

The Taste Of A Man

I want to tell you about my love for the taste of a man. How I love to savor his scent and texture. How I love to lick, suck, engulf, and wrap my lips and tongue about his manhood.

Yes I love to give oral sex to a man. I love to feel him harden with my touch and start throbbing with the warmth of my breath, and become slick with the juices of my mouth!

I love to feel him shift his pelvic while I'm licking him. To feel him lifting himself off the bed to penetrate further into my wet, dripping mouth, that is engulfing his manhood.

I love the sound of his pleasure seeping out of between his lips while moaning how good it feels.

I love to feel my lips wrapped around the tip and licking the head with my moist tongue and slowly engulfing him sliding my lips down his shaft to taste every inch of him. Feeling him throbbing inside my mouth and the heat from his excitement while he is seeping with wetness from fucking my mouth slowly at first then faster and while I'm caressing his jewels and massaging the base for his pleasure.

I love to feel how he stiffens up and is throbbing with excitement telling me that he is about to cum. Until I feel the warmth of his explosion on my tongue while he is having muscles spams and trying to catch his breathe.

Yes, Just the thought of it sends me to a cold shower and I loved it! Don't be alarmed,lol, it happens to me quite often!

I could feel my pussy throbbing and my wetness seeping out through my panties while writing this!

I had to excuse myself and take a shower while the water poured over my body I was touching myself with one finger then two feeling my clit fill and get hard with pleasure . I continued getting faster and the shaking in my legs made me weak as my pussy tightened and spasmed and I cum, while the water washed over me and I stepped back and leaned against the shower wall to balance myself from falling!