10/10/10 My Un-Perfect Day

This was suppose to be my perfect day! My "10" kind of day! I was engaged for a year and a half and our wedding date was set for today! I picked today's date for our wedding because as a kid we always watched the Olympics and 10 was considered a perfect score! I should have been getting my hair and makeup done this morning. I should have been enjoying family and friends and starting a new life with him.

I ended the engagement in May and haven't thought much about till today. So, I'm kind of sad but ultimately thankful I didn't go through with it. Lets face it a wedding is way cheaper than another divorce!


Anyway no wedding bliss or blues here just a short blog to document my un-perfect day, instead of having my perfect wedding today I worked 16 hours at the hospital. I didn't get to see my friends, family or have any fun but ultimately I'm grateful and blessed for this day regardless!

The Great Sexy Outdoors!

I love sex and just about anywhere but outdoors is probably my favorite. You would think I'm one of those people that does the PDA but I'm not really into people watching! I have had outdoor sex a thousand times…ok that may a bit exaggerated. I do love the outdoors and the excitement of outdoor sex. It’s a rush and excitement which is not easily put into words.

I have had sex on police cars, on regular cars, in the woods, on a bluff, on a balcony overlooking the ocean, in a pool while skinny dipping, on the top of a boat in the river, on a hiking trail, on the river walk, at the river park, on a dead end road by the railroad tracks, on the hood of a pick up truck, in the bed of a truck, inside a car in the parking lot, in a bathroom, in a utility closet, in a control room, in a break room, in a hospital room, in a shower, in a hot tub, and in a fire station on the side of a fire truck and I’m sure many more places that I just can’t think of at the moment.

Outside sex is always great. I love being under the sun naked! Feeling the sun touch places it has never kissed before. Feeling the breeze in my hair and the excitement of outdoor sex is always a thrill.




Skinny dipping, which I never understood the name, do only skinny people dip naked? I’ve heard it called chunky dunking, as well, but I’m very average built with very well placed curves so what do I call it? Swimming naked! I love the feel of the cool pool water on my naked body, feeling the sun beam down on all my parts having nothing but the radio on and water wrapping around my body!





There is something so very sexual about being naked outdoors. I love it! I have always wanted to go to a nudist resort on vacation! I’m not sure I would ever go through with it but I would love to attempt it anyway!

I Want Brother Husbands?

Have you seen the new TLC series named "Sister Wives"? I pretty much grew up almost like this but not quite.

My parents were swingers! Yes Swingers! My parents swapped sexual partners all the time on a daily sometimes bi-daily basis depending on the day of the week. Strange? Not to me. I never knew it was odd or that every one's parents wasn't like mine till I was in Middle school.

We had people/couples in our home day and night. We frequently went to the nudist colony/community to see people my parents knew and screwed. So as a child up until I was probably about 11 I seen naked people, people having sex, and always had multiple families in our home.

I think I probably got my sexual appetite honestly from my parents. So here's my proposal if men can have sister wives, why can't I have brother husbands? They could work and take care of me emotionally and financially and I could take care of them in every other way!







Sound absurd? Probably would be crazy but hell I would much rather have a house full of testosterone than estrogen. Only if no children were involved of course, if all the children were grown and gone and it was just me, Hell ya I would so be game to having 3 or four husbands!




No I have never been in a polygamist relationship but looks confusing and fun all at the same time!

Odds and Ends

So here's the scoop...J is still being nice and we are having a great time together! CL is wanting to have dinner sometime this week. M called tonight and wants to get together for lunch this week. J and I haven't set boundaries or defined our little situation yet and neither of us are bringing up the "relationship talk" so we are just taking it a day at a time.

My sister and I are still not talking and I'm OK with that! I am her sister I'm just not her friend!

I haven't seen the girl I have a "kissing crush" on in almost 3 months but I had a dream about her last night. I suppose because I had her on my mind and wrote that blog about her is the only reason why.

I have been tooling about the blog world looking for some more interesting bloggers to follow and came to realize that most of the blogging world have blogs about religions and faith and their family. Huh well guess I'm just an odd blogger! lol

I enjoy the blogs I follow and my fellow bloggers that are following me! Thank you!

I Want To Kiss A Girl

I have never even thought about the concept of kissing a woman. However recently within the past year I have had many thoughts about it. It started with a woman that works in the same hospital. It's not someone I see a lot she works in a different department. I can't just shake this urge to want to kiss her.

I hardly ever see her but she is beautiful. No, not like model beautiful. She is very average built with dark eyes and long dark hair with a warm olive complexion. She has a beautiful plumpness to her. I have had several dreams about her even though I haven't seen her in a few months.






Just the thought of lightly pressing my lips to hers makes me breathe a little deeper. I swear I have never had these feeling toward another woman before. This is very strange to me.






So is this just a one time thought ? If so why won't it go away! The thought of lesbians doesn't excite me. It doesn't repulse either. I believe people should love everyone no matter their gender or color. I'm just curious as to why I keep having this urge to kiss this woman.

BEHIND BARS

I can't imagine being locked up behind bars! The noise, the constant hustle and bustle, the constant contact with people, with the anxiety of trying not only to survive another day but also another hour or a minute, even down to a second.

I have friend that is in prison, JB. No I didn't know him before he went to prison, however we have talked and mailed each other letters for years now. I can't help but to worry about him. I worry when I don't hear from him and I worry when I hear from him also. We are only friends for more than one reason obviously he is in prison for one main reason.

He has spent his entire 20's in prison. He will turn 30 this year in there it hurts me to know that while everyone else is celebrating the new year coming and the old one leaving, that JB will be sitting in his cell looking at the same four walls and the same people and the same fences and same guards. Even when he walks around its the same scenery and same people and same barb-wire.

OK I am not that naive I know he is in there for a reason and he was convicted for that reason. I'm sure the family of the victim isn't going to be thinking about him. Or worried about him, however I am. We are all human! We make mistakes!

This young boy has had to grow up in this cold hard place that he has to make home and soon on the last day of this year he will be turning 30. I went to "Dolly-Wood" on my thirtieth birthday and rode rides and spent time with my son and my sister. I had fun but when I think of how he will spend his thirtieth birthday it saddens me.

I know he put himself there. I know that this was his mistake and he has to pay the consequences. I know he sometimes has attitude and gets ill for no reason, but I can't say I wouldn't be the same way! In-fact I have bad days which I'm sure are no comparison to his bad days. I pray every night for my friend and wish him safety and comfort in knowing that he can always turn to me if he needs to talk. I know he has to survive the best way he can in there and I may not agree with his decisions but I am not God and and I will not judge him for them either.

Chasing Those That Run!

I have a theory about why we tend to chase those that run and run from those that chase... I think it's about respect. It's hard to respect someone that is willing to promise you the moon right out of the chute, no matter how great they are.


So this is about me chasing a man ever since we went to high school together. So here goes, T is the one I want and I have always had a great crush on him! B is the man that loved me unconditionally that I just couldn't love back in return the way he loved me! Both are pretty good guys (even if B does sound a little passive... since he chased me for 7 years....I mean 7 years and no sex? was he not trying or was I not attracted to him?) Neither I was attracted to him I just didn't love him the way he loved me. Probably because I was chasing T.

I honestly believe a woman needs to respect a guy to be really attracted to him... B may have been great in every other way but that one (like someone else I know ) He just isn't willing to tell you when you're being a pain in the ass and that's a problem.

T is and has always been afraid to commit and afraid to be alone, maybe just waiting him out and letting him make a decision is the way to go. Do you think he honestly has real feelings for me, or am I just someone who is convenient for him? Not everyone has the ability to feel for other people very deeply, so I wonder if he's ever going to be able to give me what I want from him.


I did enjoy both as the person they are and I'm glad I kept in touch with them after things sort of fell apart. I don't know why I got the way I did with them, I know I wasn't being very rational but I guess that's what happens when you let your emotions rule over reason. I'm better for it, but I am a little embarrassed by the way I acted toward both.. like I was obsessed or something with T and running from B. (it's not something I deal with very often )

I still have a friendship with B. I also am still in contact with T. I have passed up too many relationships in hope that T will one day get his head on straight and realize that he loves me! lol .... OK not that naive, but I do secretly crave his love. He only calls me for sex and we have an amazing chemistry that I can't resist or explain why I can't ever tell him "NO"! Ugh If only he I could erase his presence in my mind and heart!.